THE MAVERICK LIFE

TAKE A RIDE INTO THE MIND OF A LATIN MAVERICK WHO ALWAYS GRABS LIFE BY THE HORNS.....

Tuesday, January 02, 2007

LET'S NOT CALL THEM RESOLUTIONS...

With the New Year officially underway and 2006 a messy thing of the past, I find myself contemplating and considering an array of interests and ideas for the new year. Normally I'm not one for setting a list of resolutions, as my resolution for the past thirteen years has been to "not make any resolutions," but this year I find myself aspiring for that extra bit of stimulation and adventure. Because I share a majority of my trials and tribulations with my readers (all five of them), I've compiled a short yet glimmering list of what's been residing in the back of my brain for some time now. Being attractive and well-liked has its rewards, but it can only get you so far in this frosty and fickle world. Applying my Adonis-like qualities to a career that's attached to a 6-digit income is by far the way to prosper. Here goes:

  • PORN STAR: Since the initial inception of porn, the industry has been flooded with average-looking Caucasian men ever since I can remember. Sprinkled with the occasional ethnic standby for some obligatory color is not enough in today's world. Many times the "ethnic" guys are white men with unusually dark tans that really aren't fooling anyone. With myself on the roster of ramming... rice, beans and a bucket-load of hot sauce would be an essential part of my sexual performance, replete with mood-enhancing trance and house tracks blaring in the background as the soundtrack to my sexual and sweaty love making rhythm. Not only will I spice up an otherwise boring set, but my bedroom secrets will be on display for the wide-eyed public to see. Some may frown upon my foray into the porn den... but money for sex; how can my penis and wallet go wrong?
  • FLUFFER: If my first option as a porn king happens to not come into fruition, then this prestigious hand job... err... job seems fairly simple and easy to execute. With the flick of the wrist and a gentle yet firm grip, my goal to keep said hunk aroused and risen to the occasion has its positives and its negatives. Some of the many perks that come to mind would be the incredibly well-defined muscular forearm that'll develop over time. The negatives include the ole' shot in the eye, or worse, the ever-dreaded Carpal Tunnel Syndrome.
With this year's goals already imprinted into my itinerary, I look forward to all the fan mail that I'll be receiving when I finally release my future movies. I'm sure that when EDDIE DOES DALLAS and MOBY DICK are released for sale, I'll be driving in my Lexus SUV in no time. Here's to 2007 and all the chaffing that comes with the porn package.

4 Comments:

Blogger molly said...

Hahaha, goood luck with that, man.

I love the name Micah...good one! And Maverick, love it.

I had no idea Coco was short for Courtney Cox...couldn't she just name her Courtney if she wanted a mini-me?

Je t'adore. Your blog rocks

10:19 PM  
Anonymous Arroz y Tostones said...

I LOVE YOUR RESOLUTION, YOU DAMN THIEF! WHAT, HAVE YOU BEEN PEEPING THROUGH MY WINDOW TO KNOW THAT I PLANNED ON MAKING MY PORN DEBUT IN:

"LA RUBIA Y LOS PLATANOS MADUROS"?

YOU DAMN SWIPER, RIPPING OFF MY IDEA! THE NERVE!

LOVE YOU LOTS, FANDANGO!

ALWAYS,
LA LECHERA

9:43 AM  
Blogger Crazy Eddie said...

I looooove you girly. Your comments keep me in hysterics yo!

Let's welcome Miss Molly to the crew. She's frickin' awesome ain't she??

4:14 PM  
Blogger molly said...

awwwh, thanks so much!

haha i can totally see mr. bowie gallavanting around some neon pink planet, eating flowers and going "ziggy....stardust...and the...spiders...from mars!"

you are definitely going to be linked asap

4:38 PM  

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