IT'S ALL ABOUT ME YO...

When you hit 30, the average person shies away from anticipating their subsequent birthdays like a plague. I on the other hand, revel in the fact that I've managed to survive yet another year. Inhaling a deep breath of new possibilities and exhaling all that is caca, I look upon my horizon with optimistic delight and anxious wonder. Driving through life with friends and family who love me unconditionally makes my journey that much sweeter and all the more comforting...

My family in particular (you know who you are) have been there to lend me some much needed laughter, coupled with the insane/manic love they're oh so known for. Without them I'd find it hard to call myself psychotic without the usual heaving confidence. Bless their zaney souls...

My friends are the other pieces to the convoluted puzzle that is my life. Denise (my hag) manages to keep me balanced with a healthy dose of sanity, as she has zero tolerance for the inane blabber and depressed thoughts I sometimes can't control. She's without a doubt my anchor of hope and a wifey without officially being married. I look forward to another 32 years of haggy abuse and complete joy.

Dewell... where do I begin. I remember the first time I met you. Grace (one of the other hags whom I don't have room to write about here) was hosting a party at her home while we drank copious amounts of Henessey together. I wanted to jump your bones right there and then, but I saved all the ass-ripping for a more appropriate time. Suffice it to say, we've been together since. Dutty eh...

Theresa's been popping out babies from left to right, so it's inevitable that we haven't spent enough quality time together. Theresa is my comedy side-kick (although all her comedy is directed at me and my frightened face as she scares the shit out of me on the regular). Congratz on having one of the most beautiful babies I've ever seen. And I don't DO babies.

Sara. This chick is a 1960's hippie living in the present time. Sorta like an easy-going Gloria Steinem. Hanging out with Sara has been a pleasure as I've gotten to know her better, feeling closer to her and her shinanigans. Her pretty feet and freakishly bendable body keep me hopping the homo/hetero fence, not knowing which side I enjoy better. Honey, if I were straight, you'd be quite satisfied...

Aury... although it's still new and fresh, I feel like I've known you since way back, when I first sprouted pubic hairs. You love me without fully knowing me; anyone that brave is a keeper in my book. Besos para ti.

My list can go on and on, but these are the people whom I hold close to my heart and the ones who have the most substance for my liking. Although I'm no egomaniac, it really IS all about me. After all, it's my BIRTHDAY and the BIRTHDAY boy gets what he wants. So there you have it. Lick it.