SO... YOU WANT TO GET TO KNOW ME BETTER?

Here I am folks. This is a photo of yours truly hanging out at the home of a friend (ex-friend to be exact) right before I submerged head-deep into the toxic world of inebriation. I really can't recall exactly what we were celebrating, but I do remember having the time of my life. The lipstick on my right cheek (as seen above) was from one of my hags and I remember leaving it there all night as a sign of my devoted love for her. Despite my fellow drunkerds' failed attempts on wiping it clean, it just stubbornly remained on my face. My hair was scattered at the time... but I remember not giving two flying fucks, as I'm gorgeous regardless if I had a pile of shit on my head. Again, I'm confident not conceited. Love it.

In this photo, I was boxing with a buddy of mine when I realized that he was sneakily armed with his camera and took a surprise shot of me getting ready to slug his ass. I know my fists are covering my gorgeous face, but isn't the whole mystery of an unclear photo a bit more tantalizing? Notice the box of Frosted Flakes in the background. Anthony and I were beasts when it came to devouring massive loads of cereal. Don't hate. Congratulate.

Here's a pic of my beautiful and wonderfully intelligent niece Scarlet. I had this habitual and loving habit of tickling her around her neck; making her giggle and smile in the process. This pic was taken almost three years ago (I'm more muscular now... lol) and she's too big to even hold in the same manner. My friends and family constantly mention that I would be a wonderful father, but for the time being I'm completely satisfied with my nephew and niece. Ask me the same question in five years. Who knows...?