BRITNEY STUPID? NEVER THAT...

Britney... you know what you're doing after all...

It's no surprise that Britney and Kevin Federline are in the beginning stages of an ensuing court battle for parental rights regarding their children and are both looking to do what they can to clinch full custody. Kevin, as of late, has been slick enough to realize that by laying low and remaining out of sight until his impending date, he is in turn playing it safe, and therefore, shuns any possible future Federline fuck-ups. Britney on the other hand, has been partying it up as if North Korea was planning to bomb the Americas by the end of the month...

Despite the bar-hopping and party-crashing, Britzo fully comprehends that her wonderful fling with cocaine, marijuana and booze (with a red-bull chaser) cannot be traced accurately unless a strand of her locks have been confiscated for testing. Her only concern would be the fact that a hair strand test can trace back as far a five years, thus damning her to the possibility of Kevin (and the court) alleging that the Britzo is unfit as a parent. And what about the bushel of mane Britney so strangely left behind at the Salon you ask? No worries. Even though Britney did in fact leave her hair behind for all to molest, it is mandatory that when receiving a hair test for drugs, the said person is obligated to enter the testing facility and have a certified doctor or official drug tester carefully snip a sample from your head... in person. Otherwise, anyone for that matter can claim that they possess a handful of Britney's hair, so all possible claims automatically become null and void...

Kudos to Britney for manifesting a plan that enabled her to party it up while simultaneously being fully prepared for her custody battle. God knows she has plenty of dinero to home-order a Urine Cleanse or Liquid Weed Away from the back of her High Times Magazine. Hey, it's just my little ole' theory...