SARA'S SPECIAL BIRTHDAY SHOUT OUT...

Sure, I'm a day late wishing one of my hags a happy birthday, but homo's aren't perfect at all times. Sure we're all (well most of us) handsome and orderly, but shizz happens...

You see, Sara turned 30 yesterday and that is cause for celebration. While some miserable, often grouchy people find reaching 30 one step closer to their impending doom, Sara, like myself, welcomed this third monumental decade into our lives with joy and excitement (as did Denise and Dewell...)

Let's make some predictions as to what Sara love will be doing on this 30th year of fabulousness:

• Dodging and weaving from police while ducking behind suitable crates and dumpsters due to a prehistoric parking ticket, I'm sure, will take up lots of time.
• Like Madonna, Sara enjoys late-night experiments with countless shades of hair-dye as she strives to find the exquisite shade of hagdom. Perhaps this will be her year.
• I recall a time when Sara used to visit and immediately pop in her Pilates DVD to begin a grueling crunch session and torso regimen that only a vegetarian can. Lately though, Sara seems to have forgotten her routine and threw physical fitness to the wind. Perhaps Sara will visit India for some divine inspiration and on return, slyly adjust to her Pilates routine of the past.
• And my final prediction leads me to inevitably question the possibility of future love. Even a hollow-tin-chested, semi-radical needs love, and Sara is no exception. Sure, her last relationship was a sad, yet very interesting hot mess of a ride, but everyone deserves a good hump and a hug. Let's hope this year she finds someone who'll caress her heart as well as her ass and tits.

Happy Birthday Sara love... Besos.