MY WRIST IS KILLIN' ME BITCHES...

MY LINDSO RECENTLY HAD A MYSTERIOUS MISHAP AND INJURED HER WRIST, LEAVING HER WITH A CAST. WHILE I'M NOT CERTAIN AS TO HOW THE INJURY TOOK PLACE, I AM LEFT WITH AN OBSESSIVE OBLIGATION TO FANTASIZE THE POSSIBILITIES:

• WILL HILARY DUFF BE SPOTTED WITH A BLACK AND BLUE WACK TO THE EYE?
• WILL LINDSAY'S MOM BE SEEN WITH A LIBIDINOUS, PULSATING LIP?
• ARE LINDSAY'S BOYFRIEND'S SEXUAL DEMANDS A STRAIN TO HER WRIST?
• REPEATED TRIPS TO THE BATHROOM FOR INTENSE COKE SESSIONS CAN DAMAGE WRIST LIGAMENTS... I THINK.
• DON'T WORRY MY LINDSO, YOU CAN FLIP THE BIRD TO THE PAPARAZZI WITH YOUR OTHER HAND.
• LINDSAY'S USUAL SLAPS TO MY ASS MAY VERY WELL BE THE CULPRIT.

LINDSAY KNOWS VERY WELL THAT I ETERNALLY HAVE HER BACK AND WILL GLADLY POUNCE ANY PAPARAZZI WHO COME WITHIN HER CIRLCE OF COMFORT. YOU CAN COUNT ON ME SISTA. LICK IT. [source]