FED-EX'S DEEP AND INSPIRING POEM...

Us Weekly is reporting that master poet and skilled rapper Kevin Federline took a sharpie to his shower door the day after Britney Spears filed for divorce and wrote the following message:

• Today I'm a free man
• Ladies lookout
• K. Federline
• Fuck a wife
• Give me my kids bitch

And here's what Ed Weekly is reporting on what Kevin really meant as he scribbled that poetic mess on his bathroom shower door:

• Today I'm a free, aspiring homeless man
• Ladies lookout for my Herpes, Clamidia and Mono
• Bum Bitch
• Fuck my beautiful, wealthy, I don't know what I'm gonna miss wife
• You can keep my kids bitch