RULES FOR HAPPY LIVING...

A FEW SIMPLE RULES FOR HAPPY LIVING:

Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting
someone else to hold the vegetables while you chop.

Avoid arguments with women about lifting the toilet seat
by using the sink.

For high blood pressure sufferers - simply cut yourself
and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure
on your veins. Remember to use a timer.

A mouse trap placed on top of your alarm clock will prevent
you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit
the snooze button.

If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives.
You'll be afraid to cough.

You only need two tools in life - WD-40 and duct tape.
If it doesn't move and it should, use the WD-40. If it
shouldn't move and it does, use the duct tape.

Eddie’s Last Thought: People are like Slinkies...not really
good for much but they bring a smile to your face when
you push them down the stairs.