CARE TO KNOW A LITTLE MORE ABOUT ME?
Ever wanted to get to know me a little better? Already know me but care to know a little more? Well, I've recently decided to open up to those who give a damn and divulge some of the little things that make me tick and function in everyday life. My likes, my dislikes and even two of my fears will be discussed below and I hope you can come out of this blog feeling all warm and fuzzy (and a little horny) inside. Here goes...
MY AGE
MY AGE
By any means, I'm not a geriatric walking into the sunset for his final time, but I must admit that I'm no longer the spring chicken I once was. The other night I rolled over in my bed and triggered the most excruciating cramp in my leg which led me to fall off my bed. Needless to say the deathly, awkward drop did not help.
THE SIZE OF MY BED
My studio only allows for so much furniture to begin with so I make it my business to accent my apartment with the bare essentials. As a big guy (tall, not fat you bitches) it is imperative that I have enough space to allow for an accident-free household. I have a full-size bed. I would fuck up my delicate shins and do the dance of death until I collapse if it were otherwise.
CHORE I HATE WITH A PASSION
CHORE I HATE WITH A PASSION
My studio is in an eight-family apartment building and the garbage pails are accessed through a basement walkway that resembles a creepy, drippy, stalactite cavern. Every time it is time to take out my garbage I wince in fear and disgust with the thought of walking through this cavernous wasteland.
ESSENTIAL START TO MY DAY
ESSENTIAL START TO MY DAY
Because it first starts with infatuation, coffee reels you in like a crackhead to his crillz. As you get to know it more and more, you begin to love the drink, the smell, the taste, the way it is made, the way it looks, where to drink it, how it all started and what it would feel like if I dipped my penis into it. Oh, have I said too much?
MY FAVORITE COLOR
MY FAVORITE COLOR
Don't ask me why I love the color green. All I understand is that my eyes lock onto this vivid color, sending a message of euphoria to my brain, leading to my intense gravitation towards the color.
FAVORITE JEWELRY TO WEAR
FAVORITE JEWELRY TO WEAR
Let me make this clear. I'm far from your average Guido or gangster rapper who finds it necessary to flaunt their bling in place of their small penis. I on the other hand find that a nice watch is the perfect compliment to the perfect gentlemen (or hot Latin hunk). Pictured above is the watch I have my eye on. Feel free to purchase this Ed Hardy masterpiece for me out of the kindness of your heart.
KIDS
KIDS
I truly love children. I really do. I even sometimes imagine what it would be like to have a child of my own one day. After the mushroom wears off, I suddenly remember that I'd rather die.
MY LIVING ARRANGEMENTS
MY LIVING ARRANGEMENTS
As mentioned above, I live in a studio apartment in Brooklyn New York. As a single man, it is truly unnecessary for me to have a large apartment as I am somewhat of a minimalist. Plus, it serves as a reminder that I do not want children.
MY MOTHER'S NAME
MY MOTHER'S NAME
My mother's name is Evelyn. My mother is my life. I love her with all of my heart and have learned to love her in a wiser capacity. My mom might as well have been a ninja because she single-handedly raised four children and managed to raise intelligent, compassionate children in the process. I love you momma.
MY NICK-NAME
MY NICK-NAME
Yes, my nick-name was Pito when I was a child. My mother used to constantly call me "papito" which is an endearing Spanish term for "my cute son." My mother then one day decided to shorten it up to Pito.
(I could imagine saying the full papito can get exhausting after a while...)
HAVE I EVER HAD AN OVERNIGHT HOSPITAL STAY?
(I could imagine saying the full papito can get exhausting after a while...)
HAVE I EVER HAD AN OVERNIGHT HOSPITAL STAY?
I can only imagine that my tonsils must have been the size of brass balls for my mom to allow surgery on her son. I do remember the luscious ice cream that the crazy nurses gave me every half hour after they ripped my swollen organs from my throat. I say crazy because one of these dumb bitches gave me a drink with a straw knowing damn well that I was unable to suck. Needless to say she received a wickedly venomous tongue-lashing from momma.
PET PEEVE
PET PEEVE
I have three sisters. Their names are Maio, Natalie and Evelyn. They are all bat-shit crazy. Just kidding.
TIME TO MAKE THE DOUGHNUTS
TIME TO MAKE THE DOUGHNUTS
In case you give two flying fucks, I wake up at 6:30 in the morning everyday during the week. My job is 7 minutes away from where I live. Don't hate, congratulate.
MY FAVORITE UNDERWEAR
MY FAVORITE UNDERWEAR
I will always be a loyal and faithful fan of Calvin Klein's underwear as I have been wearing them for most of my adult life. Something about the simplicity (and intelligent marketing techniques as seen above) keeps me contained in a snug pair of Calvins.
VEGETABLE I DISLIKE
Iceberg lettuce is useless and I simply do not enjoy eating it. Most of the time, when I am served iceberg lettuce as a side or in a random salad, they serve me nothing but white vegetative chunks of condensed water with no flavor.
REASON BEHIND RUNNING LATE
REASON BEHIND RUNNING LATE
Actually, I take great pride in my excellent punctuality. If I were late however, I guess I would chalk it up to my trying to perfect my hair. I've always been a stickler with my mane and I will not leave the house until every hair is in place.
A YUMMY DISH I'VE GOTTEN COMPLIMENTS ON
A YUMMY DISH I'VE GOTTEN COMPLIMENTS ON
If you're looking for that one dish that will have you savoring for seconds and thirds, then allow me to make my specialty: Rice, beans and pork chops. Sure, your arteries will suddenly clog and you'll suffer a thrombosis, but you'll die with a pasted smile on your face.
MY FAVORITE ANIMAL AT THE ZOO
MY FAVORITE ANIMAL AT THE ZOO
His bank account is beyond numbers and he is a fucking genius. Bill Gates puts his money where his mouth is and serves as one of the most giving, appreciative philanthropists of our time.
MY FASHION INSPIRATION
MY FASHION INSPIRATION
Augusten Burroughs is someone whom I respect wholeheartedly. As an aspiring writer, Augusten has helped me refine and sharpen my writing skills with the flair and creativity I never knew I had marinating in me.
MY GREATEST FEAR
MY GREATEST FEAR
7 Comments:
Since I just moved to a one room place from a two room place, one DOES have to get creative with storage and furniture sizes. Thankfully, my new place can accommodate all my stuff. Not that I had much stuff in the first place.
And, my amigo hermoso, come to Boston and I'll show you the joys of sleeping in a queen sized bed. Not that you would get much sleep...;)
Cant wait to see you tomorrow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
D
I enjoyed this post the most! It's filled with things that i would have never knew about you! Thanx for sharing!
I knew most of these facts! Great read, once again my favorite brother. Love you and will one day kidnap you and sub-let your humble abode!
nobody takes the trouble to put posts like this together anymore [except maybe me when i'm really shitfaced]--thanks for letting us all into your full-size bed, if only for a minute.
I got to know Mr. Eddie Love more, mi Pookie si=] something we have in common is to having the talent to play piano, I've always wanted to play piano=(
oh yeah and I forgot I want to try your arroz con habichuelas y chuleta, yum...me gusta mucho=]
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