THE MAVERICK LIFE

TAKE A RIDE INTO THE MIND OF A LATIN MAVERICK WHO ALWAYS GRABS LIFE BY THE HORNS.....

Saturday, March 24, 2007

ESCAPE DENISE... I MEAN ESCAPE THE ROOM

My main hag and I have a schedule. An itinerary of sorts you can say. Denise and I like things in order and our normal routine is a reflection of that. Playing online games is paramount in our never-ending quest for shits and giggles and remains a staple among the countless other activities that we collectively embrace...

During the gaps between our visits, Denise ensures me that she'll select newly added Point and Click games that she will personally filter through to make sure that they're at least translated into English. This is imperative due to the fact that many Point and Click/Escape The Room games are foreign... and by foreign, I mean the evil and annoyingly frustrating Japanese games. Have any of you seen some of these Japanese games? Some are extremely odd... and yes, even borderline creepy. Now don't mistake my frustration for racism, as I normally don't mind sitting near one of them people on the Subway, but when you're combing through a parade of non-English games created my mathematical masterminds, it charges that little nerve above my eyelid.


Occasionally Denise and I stumble upon a gem-of-a-game; a game that tickles our genitals and keeps us wonderfully perplexed with joy and enthusiasm. But that is where the fun takes a sharp dive into the abyss. Ever so often (usually 10 minutes into a game) Denise begins to refuse any input I may suggest. Not only will she ignore some of my comments as if I'm not even in the room, but she'll outright tell me that I don't know what the fuck I'm saying. Here's an example: "Hey Dee, you missed the key on the table, that's why you couldn't get that chest open..." She'll follow with: " That wasn't a key you pussyface, that was a salt shaker..."


Suffice it to say we do come across a memorable game now and then (1 out of 136) and when we do, we'll show our gratitude by cackling, and then sighing in unison. Creepy games aren't even considered on the play list if it's passed a certain hour (7:00pm is the cut-off) as Denise will sever my head if I even asked to play one. Our last encounter with a horror game left us both reaching for the adrenaline pills. Rotting hands reaching out of a decrepit fireplace or flashes of horrific skulls don't mix well with Denise, as I will receive the brunt of her wrath in the form of inanimate objects being chucked at my direction. It's not pretty when she's scared shitless...


If I ever come up missing, all you would have to do is trace the history on Dee's computer and uncover the time of the last horror game played. That would solve the mystery of my disappearance and surely reveal my time of death... you know... for medical records and shit.

14 Comments:

Blogger J. David Zacko-Smith said...

Michael Rules!

Thanks for your comments on my blog, Crazy Eddie - you have some cool sh*t on yours, too.

P.S. - I'm from Philly and have family in Brooklyn!

12:47 AM  
Blogger The Boob Lady said...

I'm totally going to be looking for point and click games now. Damn you. Like I need more stuff to occupy me when I get home from work.

xx

11:04 AM  
Blogger molly said...

oh man looks exciting!
haha im not so good at video games. the four-year-old i babysit has a 'cars' themed video game and he kicks my ass every time.

while having me read to him what it says on the screen.

i swear to god, im going to start lying soon

"no, no, it's not a pitstop. keep going"

xo

4:27 PM  
Blogger E said...

Ever so often (usually 10 minutes into a game) Denise begins to refuse any input I may suggest. Not only will she ignore some of my comments as if I'm not even in the room, but she'll outright tell me that I don't know what the fuck I'm saying. Here's an example: "Hey Dee, you missed the key on the table, that's why you couldn't get that chest open..." She'll follow with: " That wasn't a key you pussyface, that was a salt shaker..." --haha assert yourself! games are v. addicting...i'm beggining to believe that it really does shape behaviour.

10:48 AM  
Blogger E said...

"Ever so often (usually 10 minutes into a game) Denise begins to refuse any input I may suggest. Not only will she ignore some of my comments as if I'm not even in the room, but she'll outright tell me that I don't know what the fuck I'm saying. Here's an example: "Hey Dee, you missed the key on the table, that's why you couldn't get that chest open..." She'll follow with: " That wasn't a key you pussyface, that was a salt shaker..." --haha assert yourself! games are v. addicting...i'm beggining to believe that it really does shape behaviour.

10:50 AM  
Blogger Alex Richards said...

Most video games are too effing complicated for me. My heart is racing a mile a minute and my palms sweat! Too much adrenaline!!
I liked the Buffy game on Gamecube. But maybe i'll check out your psycho japanese horror games. Sounds like my kinda thing!
ps-see u around 42nd street. hah! ;)

12:46 PM  
Blogger maya said...

i was your 1000th profile view. i think i deserve a prize.

2:23 PM  
Blogger Christopher said...

"It's not pretty when she's scared shitless..."

I misread that sentence the first time, and thought it ended in "SHIRTless"...laughed my gum out...then realized it was my lazy eye acting up again!

xoxo

3:27 PM  
Blogger Crazy Eddie said...

J: I went to Philly a few years ago and I felt it was sorta a second NY to me. Had myself a sloppy and delicious cheese steak to boot.

Booby Lady: Those games are inspired by the devil. They are horribly addicting yo. Beware!

Molly: These are more layed-back type of games. Lots of thinking. Love ya Molly baby!

Erika: Yeah, I come off as a bit soft in this post, but I conveniently left out how I'm bitching and complaining 90% of the time, all while taunting her and laughing in the process. Not so submissive now huh? LMAO

Alex: I actually played that Buffy game. I couldn't stop laughing at how Buffy looked. She did kick some ass though. See ya on 42nd.

Christopher: I almost squirted when I read your comment. Too much. Next time, I promise her shirt will pop off just for you. LMAO

4:06 PM  
Blogger Crazy Eddie said...

MAYA!! How can I leave Maya out!! I wish I can send you a prize for putting my profile hits into the 3 digit bracket, but that would be creepy. Love that you even had the interest to see my profile (I'm sexy and smart all balled up into one lusty package...).

Besos

4:15 PM  
Blogger This Boy Here said...

i tried this... lol lol lol.. ummm... i can introduce ya to sumthin else, ya know!

7:26 PM  
Anonymous Nat said...

To:The Boob Lady and Christopher...Your comments on my brother's post regarding Denise had ME laughing. Pretty funny!

10:13 PM  
Blogger Emma said...

my aunt f. once bet me that she could spend a whole hour doing those point and click games without getting a burst of the ADD that runs like red wine in our family and having to scamper off and away from the computer.
she made it through literally four minutes before hearing the call of attention deficit disorder and skipping away into the sun.
i made it a whole six minutes.
i deserve a prize, right?

11:55 PM  
Blogger The Boob Lady said...

Nat: Thanks! :) I try to be clever. Doesn't always work out. It's usually me being honest..

Come check out my blog, I've turned Eddie here into a faithful reader. (I think...)


I'm also vying to have a place in his hagrem. (Hag Harem..)

10:01 PM  

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