THE MAVERICK LIFE

TAKE A RIDE INTO THE MIND OF A LATIN MAVERICK WHO ALWAYS GRABS LIFE BY THE HORNS.....

Monday, October 01, 2007

MY CRIB IS BIGGER THAN YOUR CRIB...

Ladies and gentlemen, it's time for yours truly to display complete and utter disdain for the people in show business. Their affluence and wealth offends me to the point where I want to turn my head in furious envy. Damn them to hell...



Jerry Seinfeld
With a house like this, he can BUY the soup nazi. He can purchase him and make him his soup slave. NO SOUP FOR YOU though...



Oprah Winfrey
Stedman really must have a large dick. I mean, with a home and a bank account the size of a small country, Oprah no longer needs dick. Oprah, you make me feel inadequate.



John Travolta
When the wife gets on his last nerve, John actually has the option to pack up and fly away to the nearest tropical island for some much needed bitch-detoxification.



J-Lo and Marc Anthony
Who the fuck cares about the size of their home? My only concern would be the fact that Jennifer Lopez is married to a walking corpse. I just don't get it.



Aaron Spelling
This will be Tori's house when her monstrous, gargoyle-of-a-mother passes away. I'm sure everything is planned out just perfectly... that meticulous Tori.



Sylvester Stallone
With a home like his, he can afford to watch RAMBONE in Dolby Surround Sound 5.1 home electronic theater.



Howard Stern
The next time this son-of-a-bitch says anything derogatory about a Latino, his house will be torn apart by a horrific hurricane named Hurricane Jose-Luis-Manuel.



Eddie Murphy
Just think of it. Eddie can house 20 more illegitimate children with ease and complete comfort within this sprawling mansion. Scary Spice can sleep in the west wing.



Halle Berry
Halle has come a loooong way since BOOMERANG. Remember that movie?




Arnold Schwarzenegger
So what if AHNOLD has gotten a bit soft in the waist line. What's the big deal with his soggy pair of man-breasts you ask? The soggy bitch has done well nevertheless... and until this day, secures his Political Thrown and continues to without an impeachment. Help us Lord.



My Home
Sure, my humble abode is looked upon as an eye soar. People see my petite little shack as the equivalent of an out-house... I don't care. What it lacks in colossal majesty, I make up for in... um... oh never mind. My only hope is to dabble into the graceful art that is porn.

9 Comments:

Blogger JOE * to * HELL said...

every one of those is offensive

just a tacky monument to extremism. and i am jealous.

11:18 PM  
Blogger RAD Homo said...

Im speechless...wow! Im jealous and I hate them....well unless they make me a houseboy....

10:13 AM  
Blogger molly said...

jerry seinfeld deserves every inch of that excellent estate for bringing us the greatest show of all time and making me laugh since i was three
(also confusing me very much with their talks to sponges, masterbating, etc. when i was like six)

great post eddie!
its been so long i missed you

12:06 PM  
Blogger Christopher said...

I want to live with Oprah...bet that bitch has the best snacks!!

Hey, send me an email...I wanna ask you something...maybe I'll propose marriage!

Besos!

2:44 PM  
Blogger M- Filer said...

Go Halle!!! I l o v e that house damn it. Except for Travolta all the rest are kinda gross...too much bullshit. But they earned it, so whatever.

I dunno Eddie, that little red house of yours doesn't look like it is in Brooklyn

9:41 PM  
Blogger Crazy Eddie said...

Hey peeps. Love your comments...

Hey M... nah, that little bitch-ass shack doesn't exist in Brooklyn. Thought it would be funny though...

The only shack I own is a LOVE SHACK... and it's a little 'ole place where... we can get together.

5:13 PM  
Blogger Natalie said...

That's enough housing for Africa.

10:08 PM  
Blogger Cheri Lee said...

I want Halle's house!
I don't think the soup nazi would let Jerry buy him =/

2:59 PM  
Blogger Jessica said...

It was fun to look at all of those fantastic homes.

3:46 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home