Saturday, April 18, 2009


Last night was one of those nights where I got together with a couple of friends and had the time of my life. Never failing to disappoint me with their madness and tomfoolery, Denise and Theresa completed my Friday night.

My haggies decided to come by last night to visit their favorite Latino hunk and infuse their shenanigans onto me and my humble abode. Denise and Theresa play an integral part in keeping my sanity under a reasonable amount of control and their visits continuously serve as my anti-anxiety medication substitute.

Allow me to paint a picture of what transpired last night:

Denise arrived at my studio around 6:00 p.m. and immediately began to give me the run-down of what her day was like at work. Never one to hold back, my hag started professing the hatred she had for her job and how her office has become a circus. Foaming and fuming, Denise put her crazy face on and continued to explain how her boss is an insensitive cunt and she couldn't understand why he didn't offer her the Yankee tickets he was waving and offering to everyone but her. I immediately pictured her shanking him and catching the tickets as he dropped to the ground.

When Theresa arrived, Denise managed to calm down a bit because it was SHE who was now distracted by Theresa's story of the day. Theresa lives the life of two Hollywood Stars when it comes to juicy gossip and family drama. Just when you think you have something spicy to discuss, Theresa topples your shit by discussing bootleg movies, the police, robberies and insane baby-daddies. Hail to the Queen.

In between our luscious and delectable conversation, I found myself playing a game of UNO with Frick and Frack. Trying to keep track of whose turn it is when you're laughing hysterically and frequently getting poked and kicked, is taxing indeed. I'm not even going to mention the random on-the-floor pose Denise laid upon me last night. A mile from sexy, this pose had me tortured and confused. Also, and this happens around the same time of the night whenever we hang out, Dee and Tee begin to tag-team my ass into oblivion. By tag-teaming, I mean they cue one another with an evil wink or gesture and flick the ON switch to Goblin Mode. Slyly and slithery, they begin to extend a barrage of wacky attacks and distractions so I can loose all train of thought. This is a malicious diversion that leaves me disoriented, which then allows them to batter me with unlimited Draw 4's and Skips. I wouldn't be surprised if they're hiding the blueprint to their satanic plots in my very own closet. Damn them to hell.

I love you... my two twisted HAGGIES.
Maio and Sara love... wish you were there.


Blogger Mimi said...

Sounds like a kick as night!
I dont want to brag but I am pretty awesome at Uno lol


8:36 PM  
Blogger Mimi said...

I was maybe born in the late 80s but I know what Square Pegs was! I used to watch it, lol I am into a lot of 80s shows/movies my fave. cartoon of the 80s is without a doubt Jem I have the show on dvd!


9:05 PM  
Blogger said...

I conquer with Mimi... I am pretty kick ass at Uno too... except I always seem to get into arguments about uno rules... hmmm...
What is your take on the 'stacking' of Draw 2s and the 'stacking' of Draw 4s... I agree with the stacking of draw 2s, but not draw 4s... this is the rule that always seems to cause a stir. lol

4:41 AM  
Blogger Eddie said... I believe the official UNO rules allows the stacking of draw 2's but not draw 4's. I on the other hand, never really enjoyed following rules so my UNO clique has always allowed the stacking of Draw 4's. It makes for a dangerously luscious game of mayhem and insanity.

Like MIMI, the next time you find yourself in NYC, feel free to join me and my haggies in an UNO CARD BRIGADE.


11:47 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

OMG I wish I was there.

1:59 PM  
Blogger Allison said...

Ahh love, that sounds like such a fun night! All a girl needs for a fantastic night is her gay bff, gossip, and games, so it makes sense that you would all have such a fantastic time, my dear.
I'm glad you had such a fun time, darling! I hope that you're enjoying the gorgeousss weather today too.
And thank you for your comment - I absolutely loveee getting comments from you, love, they're always so sweet and genuine :)

4:52 PM  
Blogger RG said...

Oh it's on now! Call your haggies and tell them the UNO MASTER OF THE UNIVERSE is coming to town! I'll supply the drinks.

3:27 PM  
Blogger Natalie said...

Easily, this can be the writings of a Friends-like series, on television or in book form. My Hag Pals, Chapter One,or Episode One, whichever you imagine, I felt as though I was reading the preface of a book and midway down, I just felt like I read the book summary. Love your stories, Crazy!

4:36 PM  
Blogger WAT said...

Denise is right. I sympathize with:

"...professing the hatred she had for her job and how her office has become a circus." MMMMMM HMMM! And not the BRITNEY TYPE CIRCUS EITHER! UGH!

And "...continued to explain how her boss is an insensitive cunt..." YES, OH MY OH YES! I would so identify with your hag already! I'd borrow her if we lived closer.

Yes, women make our drama seem minimal don't they?! GOD BLESS THEM! LOLOLOL!

4:32 AM  

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