DON'T CRY... DRY YOUR EYE

Lindsay Hohan's Hermes Birkin bag, which contained up to $1 million in merchandise and asthma medication, was swiped at Hethro Airport. When I first came upon this news, I immediately wanted to hop on a plane to London and yoke up this effing thief. Now I know most of you folks are probably thinking... "Why the flip would she even carry so much bling with her?" Well, I'll tell ya: BECAUSE SHE CAN AFFORD THE ICE AND SHE CAN DO WHATEVER THE CUNT SHE WANTS TO DO. Personally I think she was mostly balling about the 8 ball she had stashed in her bag. It was later reported that the bag was recovered (because I arrived just in time) but no word on whether any of the contents were missing. I love you Lindso!! [source]