THE MAVERICK LIFE

TAKE A RIDE INTO THE MIND OF A LATIN MAVERICK WHO ALWAYS GRABS LIFE BY THE HORNS.....

Saturday, April 07, 2007

TAKE CARE OF THOSE FEET BITCHES...

Manicures and Pedicures are necessary in the life of those who give two fucks about their hygiene. Walking the streets with open-toe shoes should be an event that attracts one's eyes to your delicious digits, not one that sends the average civilian scattering for the nearest shelter. Sandals are no exception guys, for not one soul should be exposed to your careless toe filing and Dipsey Doodle nail beds...

Now that Spring has arrived, I can't help but cringe at the thought of all the misguided folk who will be walking the streets in total oblivion, unaware of the mass hysteria that will ensue. Listen creeps, if your toes are dragging on the concrete, then you're not wearing the right sized shoe. As the above pic illustrates, being a hot ghetto mess is not cute...


Ladies: Polishing your talon-like nails in the effort to make them look appealing is not the way to go. Sure, you can attempt to distract us with your Manolo Blahnik fire engine red pumps, but all I see (and hundreds of others) are your monstrous claws...


You see, there's a simple solution to this horrid, stomach wrenching sight. A bit of pruning and a healthy amount of foot moisturizer can do wonders. All that is needed in the world of self-awareness and social betterment are the right tools. Before you know it, those grimaces and furled eyebrows will dissipate and soon be replaced with winks and encouraging smiles...


After all your hard work, the end result should look a little something like this. Men and women alike should take note and practice these simple steps to a better you. Riding on the nearest Subway (I'm from NY) shouldn't be a ride into the depths of crusty hell, but should be a foot-fetish's dream come true. Love it. Besos.

10 Comments:

Blogger alexgirl said...

Eeeew! Those pictures made me throw up a little bit in my mouth.
I better get my ass to the salon before you post a pic of my tootsies! (jk-don't worry, my toes look like little angel's toes. I swear!)

5:45 PM  
Blogger This Boy Here said...

ummm.. that was weird!

7:04 PM  
Blogger Crazy Eddie said...

Thanks this boy here...

I can always count on your encouraging comments...

Jeez

7:45 PM  
Blogger The Boob Lady said...

Oh man.

I take great pride in my tootsies, they're always painted. No way would I wear sandals without.

Ghetto Crusties are NOT cool. At all. Eck.

11:01 PM  
Blogger Emma said...

i need a fucking pedicure, stat.

10:26 PM  
Anonymous Totin said...

I agree..its not even more than 40 degrees out and I already see women with their less than attractive toes busting out of their sandals, hell, one orange bagger even had the nerve to wear socks with the sandals... as if her crusty ass feet bulging out of her dirty socks wasnt enough, I had to endure that fashion disaster and use my imagination... gross.. those pictures are decent compared to some of the horrid feet I see... Ladies, please, cease with the acrylic toe nails! WTF! TIPS ARE FOR FINGERS, NOT TOES! BITCHES! I dont need to hear your damn fake toe scraping the sidewalk as you walk, attracting more, uneccesary attention to your hammer toes..

10:14 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I agree..its not even more than 40 degrees out and I already see women with their less than attractive toes busting out of their sandals, hell, one orange bagger even had the nerve to wear socks with the sandals... as if her crusty ass feet bulging out of her dirty socks wasnt enough, I had to endure that fashion disaster and use my imagination... gross.. those pictures are decent compared to some of the horrid feet I see... Ladies, please, cease with the acrylic toe nails! WTF! TIPS ARE FOR FINGERS, NOT TOES! BITCHES! I dont need to hear your damn fake toe scraping the sidewalk as you walk, attracting more, uneccesary attention to your hammer toes..

10:14 AM  
Blogger The Boob Lady said...

Where'd you go now??

11:25 PM  
Blogger WAT said...

AHAHAHAHAHHAHA!

AMAZINGLY FUNNY POST!

I got nice moisturized feet actually.

4:44 AM  
Blogger Marko said...

LOL!

Missed ya bitch!

12:43 PM  

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