TAKE CARE OF THOSE FEET BITCHES...

Manicures and Pedicures are necessary in the life of those who give two fucks about their hygiene. Walking the streets with open-toe shoes should be an event that attracts one's eyes to your delicious digits, not one that sends the average civilian scattering for the nearest shelter. Sandals are no exception guys, for not one soul should be exposed to your careless toe filing and Dipsey Doodle nail beds...

Now that Spring has arrived, I can't help but cringe at the thought of all the misguided folk who will be walking the streets in total oblivion, unaware of the mass hysteria that will ensue. Listen creeps, if your toes are dragging on the concrete, then you're not wearing the right sized shoe. As the above pic illustrates, being a hot ghetto mess is not cute...

Ladies: Polishing your talon-like nails in the effort to make them look appealing is not the way to go. Sure, you can attempt to distract us with your Manolo Blahnik fire engine red pumps, but all I see (and hundreds of others) are your monstrous claws...


You see, there's a simple solution to this horrid, stomach wrenching sight. A bit of pruning and a healthy amount of foot moisturizer can do wonders. All that is needed in the world of self-awareness and social betterment are the right tools. Before you know it, those grimaces and furled eyebrows will dissipate and soon be replaced with winks and encouraging smiles...

After all your hard work, the end result should look a little something like this. Men and women alike should take note and practice these simple steps to a better you. Riding on the nearest Subway (I'm from NY) shouldn't be a ride into the depths of crusty hell, but should be a foot-fetish's dream come true. Love it. Besos.