Friday, May 25, 2007


It's no surprise that Denise stands up for what she believes in and refuses to bend to the abbhorent and deficient vermin who seem to follow her wherever she goes. Like moths to a flame, the inconsiderate seem to come a flockin' to her in massive droves, furthering her lack of patience to an alarmingly malignant level.

The story begins at the Magestic Yankee Stadium, you know, where the BEST BASEBALL TEAM in the world can call home. Denise, already at edge because of the new "no smoking" rule in the stands, witnessed two obnoxiously deficient azzholes crushing peanut shells in their hand and proceeded to drop the shells onto the hood of Denise's coworker. Collectively brushing it off as an accident, Denise and company continued to enjoy the Bronx Bombers do their thing. But, like an eagle visually stalking it's prey from a mile away, Denise witnessed these mother effers doing it again. This is the moment where she began to foam at the mouth...

Screaming like only an angry Puerto Rican/Peruvian can, Denise verbally reamed them two new azzholes. Demeaning them like only she can, my haggy had these dudes frozen in their skivies. Like bitches in Nikes, these guys stared straight ahead the whole entire time Denise stared them down with crazed eyes and swinging neck bone. She even called them LOUD and shit. How ironic. I love it.

This here post if for the love of my gay life and loyal wonder of the world. This here post is for the scolding I get regarding my large gaps in postings and lack of Denise-related entries. And finally, this here post is for the threat that Denise has officially made public to anyone else who intends on mentioning marriage to me in the comment area. That's no lie yo...

Lick it... Love to all... and most of all, love to you bishy face.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Anyone who knows me knows that I LOVE going to Yankee games. Nothing pleases me more. You forgot to mention it was a Yankees/Boston game. My co workeer happened to be a Red Sox fan and while I agree that Red Sox fans should always be abused on our home turf, I refuse to let that shit happen when one of "the others" is was with me! Those fuckers behind us thought they were being funny by throwing shit all over him, but I was ready to throw down. I do hate the fact that my co-worker is a Red Sox fan but I view that as a birth defect. We cant pick on the mentally handicapped right?

On another note...this is to the all of the ladies that seem to think that you and Eddie will marry and live happily ever after.. I DONT THINK SO. Let's not forget that I have been the hag for over 20 years and I come first!!! I'm glad that you all seem to love Eddie as much as I do, but FALL BACK BITCHES... He's mine.


11:39 AM  
Blogger Emma said...

Aww, Denise is one lucky hag.
And may I say I am kind of scared of her. In a good way. I wish I were cool enough to ream people out when they pull shit like that.

12:54 PM  
Blogger alexgirl said...

Hah! Denise sounds fucken awesome... but I would hate to run into her in a dark alleyway!
Uh oh. I'm scared you're not going to like me anymore after I say what i'm about to say:

I'm a METS fan.

Can we still be friends? I'm not even a huge baseball fan, but it's family loyalty.

6:49 PM  
Blogger The Boob Lady said...

Denise rocks! I love that your hag is so loyal and you to her. Love it!

9:11 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

That's right Denise, You keep them in check.


10:27 AM  
Blogger the lipstick lady said...

i've always wanted to be able to just whip around to people who are doing something completely stupid and say something really cutting to their faces, but whenever I try I just go red and say something about being assholes and then cowering bakc to where I was before.
denise rules, she should teach me how to be awesome

3:52 PM  
Blogger M- Filer said...

Where did the hunks go Eddie?

6:40 PM  

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