Friday, April 27, 2007


Have you ever felt the true essence of LUST? I have. Let me explain...

There's this maintenance worker at my job who until this day, has me seriously perplexed and flummoxed as to what his sexuality may be. I don't find this guessing game very amusing as I'm an impatient person by nature, so frankly, I'm running out of patience with my sneaking suspicion...

Although I consider myself the object of someone else's affection, I find myself glaring at this dude with lustful abandon. Call it primal nature, call it just plain horny, call it what you will. I just can't deny the fact that I'm feeling an alarm call directly in my groin. Sure, I walk the streets of NY with my eyes open (just like everyone else) so it's inevitable that I'm going to come across another who's as attractive and personable as I, but there's just this special something about... um... let's call him Jose.

After the children in my class leave for the day, I descend to the lobby of my school and sit at the reception desk to catch up on unfinished paperwork from earlier in the day. I occasionally answer the phone and find myself lingering around with the psychotic notion that I'll catch a glimpse of this hot, latin mother effer as he walks passed me (in slow motion no less) with mop in hand, and a full side-view of his upper thighs and ass. Yes. It's theatrical for me. Don't hate.

Needless to say, lust is something that is completely and utterly uncontrollable in the life of a gay man. Sure, many gays marry and manage to maintain monogamous throughout their relationships, but I on the other hand like to explore the plantation. The plantation of men.

As I press on and try to find solice in my semi-relationship with another (I love you pa), the testing of my will is straining and earth-shattering. Help me Lord...


Blogger The Boob Lady said...

Good luck Eddie. I'm in lust with everyone (who's decent looking...)who walks by me. I don't discriminate.

11:03 PM  
Blogger Emma said...

biology is a weird thing. like boob lady, i am attracted to basically everything in pants...well, almost.
"i'm feeling an alarm call directly in my groin." may i quote you? seriously, can i steal that? you are TOO GENIUS.
re. the marriage proposal- absolutely, as long as we can invite some chiseled rent boys along on our honeymoon.

10:59 AM  
Blogger Christopher said...

I don't know what it is about Spring that makes me so damn horny...I wanna screw every clean man in standards get lowered big time. I think it'd help us out if you posted a pic of this guy you're lusting after...just be careful Sexy Man...sometimes straight guys can get all weird & shit if you try to feel them up...oops, I mean snap their photo!

2:12 AM  
Blogger molly said...

whyyy havent i heard from you in so long?

okay you havent heard from me, but STILL

oh i see now youre running off marrying emma

im not the jealous type, im not the jealous type, im not the jealous type

love love love

3:49 PM  
Blogger WAT said...

U is talking to me LOCO! ME! I know how you feel! OMG! YES YES YES!

This post speaks to me and my neverending lust and desire for them all who look even decent or hot as hell.

It's due to one big fundamental problem dude: somos latinos. Y somos calientes.


4:13 PM  
Blogger alexgirl said...

Ay papi! Lust is like a drug, verdad? It doesn't matter if you're in a relationship or not, you still gotta have those moments when a hottie walks by (in slo-mo, of COURSE!) and makes you sweat. ay ay ay!
ps-thanks for the kind words on my blog, Crazy Eddie. You flatter me! muchas gracias!! ;)

6:39 PM  
Blogger Crazy Eddie said...

Booby: Thanks my love. It's always a great thing when my responsible promiscuity is supported by you...

Emma: Love you to bitz. The rent boys can fan us at the alter as they wear nothing but a fig leave and a smile. How's that for a ceremony...?

Christopher: I'm afraid that if I do in fact post a pic of him, I just might get found out and have the police come arrest me on stalking charges... love ya bro.

Molly Love: You were one of my original BLOGGER HAGS and I have an undying loyalty to you until eternity. How can you question my love for you? I do apologize for the hiatus in commenting though. I've been splattered with work and have just recently found the strength to remain loyal to my blogger friends. As for Emma... I do practice polygamy...

WAT: I understand pa. I can't speak for a whole race, but I can definitely express the fire in my groin that can never be put out. I'm not a raging sexaholic, but I do enjoy the art. Miss ya pa!!

Alexgirl: I knew it!! You too can see them in slow-mo!!! I knew you were total hag potential. You've been officially upped in stripes. Love it.

7:09 PM  
Blogger M- Filer said...

So write about your semi-relationship. What's that all about brotha???

11:04 PM  
Blogger molly said...

okay okay
apollyollogy accepted

YESSSSS finally a hag!!

12:43 PM  
Blogger E said...

lusssst. haven't felt that in a long time, and after reading this, i have realized how much i miss it.

3:03 AM  

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