I'VE JUST SHAT MY PANTS...

I work a long, grueling day folks. Teaching kids the way of the world can be very taxing on the human psyche, so of course, at the end of the day I find myself nodding off into oblivion. While I try to stay awake by shaking off my ZZZZ's with a jolt of coffee, it doesn't always do the job. Before I know it, I'm slouched over with my mouth wide open in the LAND OF LA LA...

Naturally, these narcoleptic bouts do not discriminate, as I pass the fuck out when I visit my hag. This is not a good thing...

Like the Tyrant brute that she is, Denise is not as forgiving as the average human. Sleeping... or even blinking slowly in her presence seems to ironically awaken the Devil within her. Finesse goes the way of the Dodo when she realizes that I'm counting sheep. You see, if I fell asleep because I was completely and utterly exhausted, a sane human being would probably approach me and tap me on my shoulder to make me aware that I slipped into a snooze. This is not so with my haggy of devilish proportions...

With a maddening, thunderous clap, Denise sends me into a state of confusion and terror as I suddenly realize it was her who woke me from the dead. Perplexed and cross-eyed, it takes me about 4 seconds to piece together my befuddlement and regain full composure. How cruel...

Over time, Denise has found several ways to "mix up" her horrifying wakening tactics in the CHAMBER OF TORTURE that is her computer room. Sometimes she decides to stomp her feet, and sometimes she attempts a full-on scolding at the top of her voice. Neither bodes well when I'm in my fragile REM state...

This here post is for the SCREAM/POUNDING ON THE DESK that was ever-so-kindly directed my way last night. I'm still a bit unnerved and jittery and I haven't fully recovered since last night's debacle. Oh the horror...

DIE YOU MASOCHIST...

I love you.