BABIES? WHO NEEDS STINKING BABIES?
After the eerie onslaught of pregnancies that multiplied before my eyes this year, I find myself questioning my purpose in life and whether or not I can foresee myself having my very own child in the future. The answer is a thunderous, crackling NO...Some people are simply pre-programmed to be viable parents. Creating life, for lack of a better phrase, seems to be an event that some find easily digestible and simplistic to achieve. Just the thought of the responsibility and maturity that is essential in being a selfless, unconditional support base for your child alone exhausts me, but others seem to just take it in stride like they hold the handbook to parental perfection.
Now don't get me wrong. I'm not an angry, child-hating ogre by any means. I do enjoy the little tykes. I spend the majority of my working day among these little buckets of bacteria. I'm literally surrounded by these children all day. I love them... I do. But at the end of the day I part my ways and go home. I go home to a life where I don't have to look over my shoulder and worry that I may have slipped and said the word "FUCKBAG" in the presence of my child. I do not have to stress the fact that I have to return home at a reasonable time after a much-needed night out in the city due to child-related stress and anxiety. Never will I have to question my actions of immaturity and overall insanity on a daily basis. I, kidless and joyous, will never ponder whether or not I remembered to feed and bathe my silly little child. Hallelujah...
OK, maybe I am an ogre of sorts...
Nevertheless, I guess the whole reasoning behind my complete lack of interest in becoming a dad is due to the fact that I'm satisfied. I'm satisfied with the company of my beautiful niece and nephew, let alone the newly created truckload of children that will pop out the vaginas of my sacred circle of hags. In that sense, I'm completed.
Like Samantha from Sex in the City, I embrace my feelings of solitude and complete boredom with the concept of fatherhood in general. Last minute plane ride to Barbados? I'm there. If I had a child... I wouldn't be there. Simple as that.
Suck it bitches.
TOODLES.
Now don't get me wrong. I'm not an angry, child-hating ogre by any means. I do enjoy the little tykes. I spend the majority of my working day among these little buckets of bacteria. I'm literally surrounded by these children all day. I love them... I do. But at the end of the day I part my ways and go home. I go home to a life where I don't have to look over my shoulder and worry that I may have slipped and said the word "FUCKBAG" in the presence of my child. I do not have to stress the fact that I have to return home at a reasonable time after a much-needed night out in the city due to child-related stress and anxiety. Never will I have to question my actions of immaturity and overall insanity on a daily basis. I, kidless and joyous, will never ponder whether or not I remembered to feed and bathe my silly little child. Hallelujah...
OK, maybe I am an ogre of sorts...
Nevertheless, I guess the whole reasoning behind my complete lack of interest in becoming a dad is due to the fact that I'm satisfied. I'm satisfied with the company of my beautiful niece and nephew, let alone the newly created truckload of children that will pop out the vaginas of my sacred circle of hags. In that sense, I'm completed.
Like Samantha from Sex in the City, I embrace my feelings of solitude and complete boredom with the concept of fatherhood in general. Last minute plane ride to Barbados? I'm there. If I had a child... I wouldn't be there. Simple as that.
Suck it bitches.
TOODLES.
etched by Eddie | 7:05 PM
3 Comments:
Yeah, I feel the same way you do in many respects. Having a child is a great great responsibility, and I value my time alone and independence way too much (at least for now if not forever) to even wanna deal with the little "bucket of bacteria" as you call them.
LOL!
Last minute plane ride to Barbados? I'm there. YEAH RIGHT...lol when was the last time?
It's true about the last minute jaunt to Barbados... but babies are so cute! I'm totally gonna have one--in the future. Not now.
ps-that pic of that baby is mad scary. is it's head about to pop off?
Post a Comment
<< Home