EXTRA EXTRA... READ ALL ABOUT IT!!!

With the official OK from Denise, I can now announce something that I've been wanting to share with my readers for the past two weeks. Something that is somewhat of a miracle and worth shouting out to all of my fellow blogging peers. My haggy is PREGNANT...

While it's rather unusual and alien for me to comprehend what the next nine months has in store for Denise and her newly created bun in the oven, I'm confident that everything will turn upside down and pretty much challenge everything that we've grown accustomed to throughout the years of living life without a baby. Countless years of non-parenthood has led us to live a life of self-indulgence and semi-responsibility, as we've gotten used to not having anyone or anything to answer to... until now...

Some of you out there might be questioning why I'm writing as if I'm the father of this child. While I have the devoted characteristics that every husband should possess, my sperm has never come into contact with her uterus or ovaries for that matter, contrary to popular belief. Rodney, Denise's boyfriend and all around perfect dad-to-be is responsible for the next nine months of her gestation. More power to him...

Although I'm not the father of her baby, I do feel somewhat linked to the conception in some strange, non-kinky way. Like some GAY WIZARD OF FERTILITY, my presence in her life has somehow lined up the planets creating an inter-galactic miracle of fate. While Rodney had the obvious physical responsibility in her pregnancy, I on the other hand, had the emotional responsibility and general support. This support laid out the necessary foundation for the magical conception that has taken place. Like that non-conventional kid who insists on wearing black and singing to another tune, this child will be a maverick... this child will have TWO DADDIES.

One can only imagine what Rodney and I are in store for as I've heard many a horrid story about the emotional roller coaster women go through. Their belly expands beyond belief, let alone the other phalanx of epic bodily changes that rear their ugly head for all the world to see. And by world, I mean the two prominent men in her life... me and Rodney. Help me Jesus, Joseph and Mary...

With the cavalcade of preteen pregnancies and bum-rush of unfit mothers plaguing this planet, Denise will smash those hopeless statistics as one of the best applicants out there. If the love she displays to her cats are any indication to the brand of mom she'll be, then I'm completely and utterly at ease.

CONGRATULATIONS BISHYFACE.