FOR MY HAGS: LOVESTONED

This song is hot. I relate to the words especially and I find the lyrics blend well with the music. Pay particular attention about 3:30 minutes into the song though... the music and flow completely change. This change is my favorite part of the track and I find myself grooving Puerto Rican style throughout. For all the ladies who tickled my inner-hetero and had me questioning my sexuality, this one is for you...

Put your volume up bitches.

BURNING FIRES AND NEW HAGS...

As I sit here in front of the computer listening to the rain pitter-patter from outside the window, I cannot help but ponder about the fires that are ripping through San Diego and it's neighboring counties. If everyone in California watered their fucking lawn once in a while this would never have happened...

I fully understand the concept of wanting to live up on a mountain so you can brag to your envious friends about having a better view than theirs. I do. But if you walk about your neighborhood and local surrounding forest and the grass beneath your feet begin to crunch, you should take that as a sign that DANTE'S INFERNO is soon to approach...

I personally lack empathy for those who choose to live anywhere outside of New York City anyway.

In closing, I just want to give a sexy wink to one of my new hags. Yes bitches, I have another. Her name is Irene and she knows how to keep me smilin'. The attitude is there and her raging sense of entitlement is fully intact. She wants the best and only the best. That is why our "lobby interludes" have been so special. You know who you are babe, and that keeps me hot under the gay collar. Yeah... you know I'm hot too.

LET'S MAKE NOVEMBER 1ST EDDIE'S DAY!!

Well hello my sexy freaks. I've missed you dearly. I've missed blogging and I cannot wait until I'm at a calm sense of peace again. Things have been quite hectic as of late which has ultimately lead to my mental disconnection with blogger and my innate inability to sit down and blog when things are shaky and uncertain. Well, things are about to dramatically change my loves...

I'm moving.

Although it's just across the street (the hottest little studio apartment yo), I see it as a new beginning. I know, it sounds a little melodramatic, but fuck you... I'm happy dammit.

With this new sense of titillating passion for everything fresh and shiny, I will soon find myself blogging more frequently and keeping you guys beaming with joy. OMG... did I just say that out loud?

November 1st (the day I officially move in) shall be called EDDIE'S DAY. If you celebrate alongside me, I will personally invite you over for some CRUMPETS AND A BLUNT.

Besos para todos mi jente...

I got my name in lights with notcelebrity.co.uk

JACKIE BEAT BETTER WATCH HER MOUTH...

OMG... I LOVE IT...

MY CRIB IS BIGGER THAN YOUR CRIB...

Ladies and gentlemen, it's time for yours truly to display complete and utter disdain for the people in show business. Their affluence and wealth offends me to the point where I want to turn my head in furious envy. Damn them to hell...

Jerry Seinfeld

With a house like this, he can BUY the soup nazi. He can purchase him and make him his soup slave. NO SOUP FOR YOU though...

Oprah Winfrey

Stedman really must have a large dick. I mean, with a home and a bank account the size of a small country, Oprah no longer needs dick. Oprah, you make me feel inadequate.

John Travolta

When the wife gets on his last nerve, John actually has the option to pack up and fly away to the nearest tropical island for some much needed bitch-detoxification.

J-Lo and Marc Anthony

Who the fuck cares about the size of their home? My only concern would be the fact that Jennifer Lopez is married to a walking corpse. I just don't get it.

Aaron Spelling

This will be Tori's house when her monstrous, gargoyle-of-a-mother passes away. I'm sure everything is planned out just perfectly... that meticulous Tori.

Sylvester Stallone

With a home like his, he can afford to watch RAMBONE in Dolby Surround Sound 5.1 home electronic theater.

Howard Stern

The next time this son-of-a-bitch says anything derogatory about a Latino, his house will be torn apart by a horrific hurricane named Hurricane Jose-Luis-Manuel.



Eddie Murphy

Just think of it. Eddie can house 20 more illegitimate children with ease and complete comfort within this sprawling mansion. Scary Spice can sleep in the west wing.

Halle Berry

Halle has come a loooong way since BOOMERANG. Remember that movie?

Arnold Schwarzenegger

So what if AHNOLD has gotten a bit soft in the waist line. What's the big deal with his soggy pair of man-breasts you ask? The soggy bitch has done well nevertheless... and until this day, secures his Political Thrown and continues to without an impeachment. Help us Lord.

My Home

Sure, my humble abode is looked upon as an eye soar. People see my petite little shack as the equivalent of an out-house... I don't care. What it lacks in colossal majesty, I make up for in... um... oh never mind. My only hope is to dabble into the graceful art that is porn.