THE MAVERICK LIFE

TAKE A RIDE INTO THE MIND OF A LATIN MAVERICK WHO ALWAYS GRABS LIFE BY THE HORNS.....

Wednesday, January 31, 2007

ENOUGH IS ENOUGH...

If this is not reason enough why the war in the middle-east should come to an immediate end, then I really don't know what else to say. Here is what the text says:

"Air Force Chief Master Sgt. John Gebhardt, of the 332nd Expeditionary Medical Group at Balad, Iraq, cradles a young girl as they both sleep in the hospital. The girl's entire family was executed by insurgents; the killers shot her in the head as well. The girl received treatment at the U.S. military hospital in Balad, but cries and moans often. According to nurses at the facility, Gebhardt is the only person who can calm down the girl, so he has spent the last several nights holding her while they both sleep in a chair."


May the evil-blooded neanderthals of the east step outside of their misguided and diluted egos for a brief moment and pay attention to the atrocities that surround them. Organized religion in general breeds hate (although many will disagree) and fuels angered differences among the dim.

BEFORE BRITNEY... BEFORE CHRISTINA ... BEFORE ALL THEM BITCHES ... THERE WAS MADONNA

Tuesday, January 30, 2007

GHETTO STILETTO RULE BOOK

This post is dedicated to my primary hag Dee. A true hag inherently knows the unofficial rules of what makes the hag/fag relationship tick; sorta like a soothing balance of being a wife... without all the sloppy sex and pre-requisite nagging. For those who are interested in a comical introduction into hagdom, then look no further. Click here to get schooled. Love it.

AUNT CAROL HAS ALL THE ANSWERS...


Thanks to Donnie v2.0 for introducing me. Besos.

Monday, January 29, 2007

BEAUTY IS IN THE EYE OF THE BEHOLDER

  • MAKEUP JOB ... $60.00
  • BOOB JOB ......... $6000.00
  • FORGETTING TO TUCK IN YOUR BALLS ... PRICELESS

Sunday, January 28, 2007

HAVE YOU SEEN IT??


Those of you who may have gotten your car stolen at some time or another can relate to the acrimony and resentment you feel when something as essential and considerable as your personal transportation is swiped from your possession. Unfortunately such a thing has happened to one of my hags a week ago and again, although I expected to witness a raging lunatic replete with furled eye brows and erupting foam from the mouth, Sara has again floored me with her calmness. Here's the sordid story:


At 7:30 a.m. Friday morning, Sara strolled down her block and headed to where she parked her car the night before. To her dismay, there was nothing but a pile of shattered glass where her little black 1992 Nissan Sentra had stood. Considering the possibility that her memory may have been a bit fogged, she questioned if she even parked the darn thing at that particular spot to begin with (denial is a bitch isn't it?). She walked around the block to see if maybe she left her black hooptie there in a drunken stupor the night before (I added that) but to her disappointment, there was nothing...


Upset with the fact that she now had to cancel her EZ Pass and was no longer the proud owner of her "Roller Girl" skates (Sara was Roller Girl from Boogie Nights for Halloween) and mid-western-inspired music CD collection. All were left in her two-door wonder...


Immediately placing a phone call to New York City's 311 system, Sara began the dark and grueling process of reporting her car stolen. As if she wasn't going through enough anguish with her vehicle situation (and her withdrawals from her honky-tonk tunes) she was connected to a representative who really didn't give two shits about her car being stolen. Speaking to Sara in a malodorous and unpleasant tone, this representative from hell played a few mind games and verbally twisted Sara's nipples, but eventually connected her to the police for an official report. They finally arrived at Sara's home and upon meeting, the officer recognized Sara and realized if was due to a prior call that she had placed to the authorities when her car radio was stolen a few months back. Needless to say the report was done and has yet to hear anything regarding her sexy Sentra. I'm convinced that the damn car had the demonic spirit of Christine (the car from that B-rated horror flick) in it and welcomed vandals to tear it up on the regular. Her car had a history of attempted break-ins and she even had her driver-side doorlock molested beyond repair. Could this whole fiasco be a blessing in disguise?


Fortunately enough for my haggy, she was offered a vehicle from her luscious sister Theresa (more like Mother Theresa with a twist) who conceded to selling her a 1995 Ford for an astounding $1. Yes, you read that right. Theresa has come to her rescue with such a generous offer, it almost made Sara's revolting and obscene situation dissipate into emotional vapor. Theresa baby... although I haven't met you, it seems to me that you deserve a massive tongue-massage for making your baby sis smile with hope. You're lickable... yes you are.


As always, I'm tickled when a sad story inevitably ends in hope and happiness. Sara seems content with what's happened to her and if she's fine with it, then so am I. Initially I wanted to scour the streets of Brooklyn to hunt down this dirty dog so I can peel off layers of his skin and feed it to him, but I guess that wouldn't have solved her woes... only mine. Love ya Sara baby...


Shout out to Momma Diane for reading my blog on the regular and not having a coronary in the process. It's genuine hippie-esque people like you that keep me inspired to sit in front of my cuntputer and spill my mental beans for all to read...

BACK BY POPULAR DEMAND ARE THE VENERABLE HUNKS OF CRAZY EDDIE'S VAULT:

I'M GONNA BOX YOU DOWN UNTIL YOU FALL ONTO MY BED HUNK...

I'M GRINNING AND FLIRTING ON MY SATIN SHEETS HUNK...

I WOKE UP WITH THIS DARN BONER HUNK...

I'M JUST A SEXY TEASE AS I LAY ON MY BED WITH A SCULPTED ASS HUNK...

IT'S ALL ABOUT MY GOD-DAMNED PECS HUNK...

I'M SWEATY AND AM READY FOR ANOTHER SET OF REPS HUNK...

OOPS I SEEM TO HAVE MISPLACED MY SPEEDOS HUNK...

I HAVE A CUTE YET GEEKY FACE BUT IT'S ALL ABOUT MY BODY HUNK...


MY NAME IS ANTONIO AND I VANT TO GIVE YOU BESOS ON THIS CHAIR HUNK...


I'M UNUSUALLY THICK AND COMPLETELY RUGGED HUNK...

THIS HUNK POST WILL OFFICIALLY BE THE LAST POSTING OF RANDOM GUYS AND CUTE FACES. FROM HERE ON END I'LL BE POSTING HUNKS THAT HAVE A THEME TO THEM. WHETHER IT'S A SLEW OF HISPANIC MEN OR A PLETHORA OF CROTCH SHOTS IN BLACK AND WHITE, MY HUNKS WILL HENCE FORTH BE THEMED. LOVE YOU BITCHES.

Sunday, January 21, 2007

WHEN STARS ATTACK

I assume being a nasty bitch can take its toll. Diana Ross is a veritable Halloween hag when she goes without makeup. Don't stare too long people... you just might turn to stone.



Rosanna Arquette looks like she's on her way to a woman's shelter.



Come on people, you know I had to implement Crackney... um Whitney. I hope that's a strawberry.




Britney wasn't having the best of days when paparazzi caught her looking like a mother trucker.



Jennifer Lopez is looking faint without paint. Oddly... she still remains preciosa...




Meth-bloat is a bitch huh? Without all the glitz, Courtney Love reminds me of a bloated lizard that's about to sneeze.



Helen Hunt's stern puss scrunches up like she's been pooping irregular. Give that woman an Ex-Lax.



Without her team of experts, Jessica Simpson looks like a hometown farmgirl from Illinois in a Peoria T-shirt.



I know... I'm going straight to hell for this...



I'd rather rule in hell than serve in heaven anywayz...

BARACK HUSSEIN OBAMA??

Recently I received an email that was basically a short bio of Barack Obama. Not being sure if all the following facts were true or not, I found it intriguing enough to post it onto my blog:


"Probable U. S. presidential candidate, Barack Hussein Obama was born in Honolulu, Hawaii to Barack Hussein Obama, Sr., a black Muslim from Nyangoma-Kogel, Kenya and Ann Dunham, a white atheist from Wichita, Kansas. Obama's parents met at the University of Hawaii.

When Obama was two years old, his parents divorced. His father returned to Kenya. His mother then married Lolo Soetoro, a radical Muslim from Indonesia. When Obama was 6 years old, the family relocated to Indonesia. Obama attended a Muslim school in Jakarta. He also spent two years in a Catholic school.

Obama takes great care to conceal the fact that he is a Muslim. He is quick to point out that he was once a Muslim, but that he also attended Catholic school.

Obama's political handlers are attempting to make it appear that Obama's introduction to Islam came via his father and that this influence was temporary at best. In reality, the senior Obama returned to Kenya soon after the divorce and never again had any direct influence over his son's education. Lolo Soetoro, the second husband of Obama’s mother, Ann Dunham, introduced his stepson to Islam. Obama was enrolled in a Wahabi school in Jakarta. Wahabism is the radical teaching that is followed by the Muslim terrorists who are now waging Jihad against the western world.
Since it is politically expedient to be a Christian when seeking major public office in the United States, Barack Hussein Obama has joined the United Church of Christ in an attempt to downplay his Muslim background.

Let us all remain alert concerning Obama’s expected presidential candidacy."

Now we all know that there are a select few Americans (mostly in the RED states) who are pretty much repulsed at the thought of a possible African American as President, but will they go as far as to circulate propaganda to tarnish the mans image? Never one to believe that studying the Muslim faith is a crime, I must take this email with a grain of salt (although I did unfortunately correlate the word Muslim with the word Terrorist... blame it on the media folks...).

Thanks to my Aunt Gloria for the heads up. Love ya!!

Saturday, January 20, 2007

HEY WEBSTER... WHAT ABOUT THESE WORDS?

Here are a few words that my dear old hags Denise and Aury have compiled as some of the new possible English word entries into Webster's Collegiate Dictionary. I feel these stupefying and wondrous words merit inclusion into our English language. These words include:
  • Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.
  • Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.
  • Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
  • Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
  • Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
  • Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
  • Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
  • Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
  • Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
  • Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.
  • Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit)
  • Karmageddon: It's when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, and then the Earth explodes and it's a serious bummer.
  • Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
  • Glibido: All talk and no action.
  • Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
  • Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
  • Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
  • Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.

Let's hope they're considered.

KELLY CLARKSON: HEAR ME


Very rarely do you come across an artist who has the talent to skyrocket full-force into stardom. Some singers are talented in the entertainment end of the field and technically have mediocre voices at best, but it's their stage presence and controversial manner that keeps them hovering in the spotlight. Others... well... simply have that voice that pulsates clear through you, sending shivers down your spine. Kelly Clarkson, winner of American Idol's first season, has gotten multiple #1 hits under her belt since her debut album a few years back and possesses one of the most powerful voices of the select few powerhouses to date. Listen for yourself and feel free to leave a comment stating if you found this particular track amazing like I did. Raise your volume and pay attention. This is a pro. Love you bishy!!

DRAG QUEEN MADONNA: HUNG UP


Drag Queens have been imitating Madonna since she first debuted way back in the early 80's. This video is no exception. Here you see a Drag Queen (with all his hags) doing a performance at a club in honor of her Madgesty herself. I'm Hung Up on this Drag Queen. Fucking A.

WHY I LOVE ANDY DICK: DAPHNE AGUILERA

HILLARY CLINTON MAKES IT OFFICIAL...

HILLARY CLINTON has finally made it official. Miss Thang is running for President. While speculation of her running has been circling the media for the past two years, Hillary has finally jumped into the Presidential race and is "in it to win it." Embarking on a widely anticipated campaign today, the former first lady is intent on becoming the first woman President of the United States (no shit!). The question is... can the Republicans and the right wing in general take the stick out of their asses long enough to even consider the possibility for actual change? Can the conservative cunts who preach "moral values" and old-world logic have the capacity to step down from their moral high horse to allow the select few who are actually awake to present ideals and law that reflect our current issues?


Here is what Hillary said regarding her run for Chief in Command: "You know after six years of George Bush, it is time to renew the promise of America," Clinton says in a videotaped message in which she invites voters to begin dialogue with her on the major issues -- health care, Social Security and Medicare, and the war in Iraq. "I'm not just starting a campaign, though, I'm beginning a conversation with you, with America," she said. "Let's talk. Let's chat. The conversation in Washington has been just a little one-sided lately, don't you think?"

WHY I LOVE ME SOME NELLY FURTADO


I'm fully aware that I posted this video last month, but I had to re-post the damn thing due to my lust and love for the song. Everything about this song is hot and Nelly looks absolutely gorgeous throughout. Now this is how you shoot a video kids. Class. Dee, you are well aware of how much I lurve this song. Take a look will ya?

BANG YOUR HEAD TO THIS BITCHES...

This song is dedicated to my sister Natalie. Without her I wouldn't be the house junkie that I am today. I just wanted to give a nod to the ultimate CLUB QUEEN. This song reminds me of you sissy face!! This song is CLASSIC and deserves a plaque among the best in house music. The beat is slammin' and Lady Kier is fabulous as usual. By the way, this video is effing great to see in a dark room. Shut the lights ... and bang your heads to this bitches. Trust me, you'll enjoy it.

Friday, January 19, 2007

JESSICA SIMPSON LIPS YO...

Do you want plump lips like Jessica's ... for the next fifty or sixty years? Jessica's "Dessert Treats" line of cosmetics has found its way to ebay with an auction of a box of 100 Creamsicle Lip Candy lipsticks. Maybe the creamsicle flavor didn't catch on. The seller claims that it makes your lips tingle and plump, which doesn't sound like a treat at all.Be the first (and last) person on your block to have your lips smelling conspicuously like cream and oranges ... and looking like Ball Park Franks. Doesn't she just look fabulous?

NO WONDER WHY LINDSAY'S IN REHAB

THIS IS HOW I MAKE LOVE...

WHAT THE FRICK BRITNEY?

And this is the reason why paparazzi do not sympathize with stars. On one hand you have Hollywood playing the ole' violin as they spit sob stories regarding the harassment of photogs exploiting their lives for all to see. And on the other hand, they read the shit themselves. You have to take the bad with the good. On that point, my Britney popped into a convenience store last night and checked out the latest gossip on her life by skimming through the current issue of Us Weekly, which features her and new boytoy Isaac Cohen on the cover. After figuring out where she'd been for the past week, America's favorite trainwreck then grabbed a Red Bull, and spent the evening with friends, cruising the streets of L.A. in her convertible Mercedes. I love the bish... still.

WHY I LOOOVE MARIO LOPEZ...

ROBBIE WILLIAMS: SHE'S MADONNA (LOL)

JOHN MAYER ON ISAIAH WASHINGTON

With controversy swirling around the set of "Grey's Anatomy," someone needs to step in and heal the wounds that Isaiah Washington has inflicted. That someone might just be -- John Mayer. In his blog, Mayer suggests the way to unite the cast and right the wrongs Washington has caused, is to make his character gay. Mayer asks, "What better way for an actor to get to the roots of his discrimination than by portraying the very subject of his own ire for the remainder of his contract?" It's rather refreshing to hear a heterosexual comment in such a manner. I'm floored with the simplicity of it all. Maybe now I'll take out 5 minutes to listen to a John Mayer track. I do enjoy that "Mothers Be Good to your Daughters... or some shizz like that song" though. As for Isaiah... he should be the last person to spew such vomit as he himself should identify as a minority. Not only is he a black man, but he is also a revolting, grizzly dogface.

FORBES' RICHEST BITCHES IN THE WORLD...

These days, just about any lip-smacking starlet can land a cable reality show or become YouTube’s flavor of the week. But fame’s 15 fleeting minutes can elapse quicker than it takes to refresh a Web page. Only a bona fide superstar can parlay a moment’s stardom into a long and lucrative career. And even that’s not enough to land a coveted spot on Forbes' first-ever listing of the 20 Richest Women in Entertainment. For that, you’d need a minimum net worth of $45 million. The list is too extensive to list here, but I will post the first three rich bitches. Lick it.


  • OPRAH WINFREY: Reared in poor, rural Mississippi, Oprah today is the richest woman in entertainment and the only black female billionaire. In the late 1980s, following the debut of her super-successful syndicated talk show, Oprah earned $2 million a year. Today, she pockets an estimated $225 million annually from TV (including shows starring Dr. Phil McGraw and Rachael Ray, produced by Oprah's Harpo Productions), satellite radio, magazines and other multimedia endeavors. (net worth: $1.5 billion)

  • J. K. ROWLING: The one-time single mom on welfare is the brains behind Harry Potter, one of the most successful book franchises in history. The sixth installment, Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, was the fastest-selling book in history, according to Guiness World Records. The film series--from which Rowling enjoys a cut of royalties and merchandising--has also proven astoundingly successful, with the total gross for the four films already released topping $3.5 billion. Rowling is the only career author on Forbes' Billionaires list. (net worth: $1 billion)

  • MARTHA STEWART: Most of the domestic diva's net worth is in shares of her publicly traded company, Martha Stewart Living Omnimedia. (Her net worth, in effect, fluctuates daily.) The company's merchandising arm, Martha Stewart Everyday, enjoyed sales of $1 billion in 2006. Stewart oversees a media empire that includes a television show, a magazine, books, housewares and a Sirius Satellite Radio channel. A five-month jail stint for insider trading stripped her of the chief executive title. No matter, since she's still one of the richest women in entertainment. (net worth: $638 million)

Other females who topped Fobes' list include Madonna in 4th, Celine Dion in 5th, Mariah Carey in 6th, Janet Jackson in 7th, Julia Roberts in 8th, Jennifer Lopez in 9th and to round out the first ten... Jennifer Aniston. No mention here about 11-20 as I refuse to write about broke bitches.

YOU'VE GOT SOME SET OF BALLS...

In a past post, I mentioned my fascination with The Silver Surfer and how Marvel will be handling his on-screen groin shots. Not being quite sure as to how Silver Surfer will make it onto the big screen with metallic ease, I finally have gotten my question answered. Seen here in this video still of the liquid-metal-esque superhero, it's apparent that this old chap has a decent-sized set of metal balls. Bravo to Marvel for having the "balls" to implement his walnuts into the movie.

LINDSAY CHECKS INTO REHAB

My Lindso has checked herself into rehab. Partying like it's 1999, Lindsay Lohan has apparently reached her drug and booze limit after allegedly passing out after a night full of debauchery and excess. It's no surprise that my love affair with Lindso is partly due to her rebellious and contumacious lifestyle, but I do fear for her career and her seemingly wasted potential as an actress and all-around bitch. Always on top of her game with her inate ability to work the paparazzi in her favor (whether pleasant or scathing), Lindsay has unfortunately topped her very own invisible ceiling as her nightlife and general antics have taken a toll on her physically and emotionally. Linsay doll, I now speak to you: All those characterless, cloying actresses who bore me to tears on a regular basis will be jumping at the chance to grab some of your limelight during your hiatus. I'll be watching as they all stumble and fall in your luscious shadow. Listen, if you detox from those dang pills, you'll have more time and energy to concentrate on the booze and crillz. Get well my raven-haired (for the time being) beauty. See you soon love.

Thursday, January 18, 2007

HALF NEKKED THURSDAY: (FOR M-FILER)

Ok... I know that I usually steer clear of posting really provocative pictures on my blog due to possible heart attacks and emotional/psychological damage from virgin readers, but this occasion calls for some libido stimulation. M-filer baby... this is for you.
This Puerto Rican mass of meat has graced the pages of past posts and is always welcomed to my school of sexiness. Without his Ceasar haircut and tight-fitting briefs, my HUNK shrines would not be the same. God bless you Jose from MuscleGallery. You make my heart beat a little faster.
Now I'm not sure who this particular hunk is, but I do know that he's a professional when it comes to resting on a black leather couch. I don't know about you folks, but when I come home from a "hard" days work, I enjoy laying face-down on my couch buck nekked and bronzed, replete with tattoo and a smirk...

Brokeback Mountain moved me beyond words, so it's only fitting to show my sexy gay readers how Jack Twist went to bed at the end of the day. All those sheep and no play make Jack a dull boy. Why not sleep with your boots on...? Doesn't it add to the hairy legs? Nice.
Damn. I did it again. I know this one is also risque, but who the fuck really cares? I know that nothing is really on display here, but isn't the whole "what's under the shorts" thing a bit erotic and stimulating? I knew you'd agree...

And last but not least is good ole Baby New Year. Celebrating 2007 bent over with full-on bottle in mouth puts a whole new twist on things. If only all men went to bed in such a manner. Naughty me...

So M... I hope you enjoyed my cavalcade of Half Nekked Men Thursday and I plan to keep you full with my manly culinary delights on the regular. I look forward to next Thursday... as I'm sure you are too. Love ya guy.

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

HERE YOU GO DEE... BEYONCE'S BET PERFORMANCE

WHY I LOVE CHRISTINA (OK... ONLY THIS ONE)

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

JAKE GYLLENHAAL ON SNL...

Due to NBC literally sweeping YouTube for any unauthorized video regarding Jake Gyllenhaal's performance on SNL, I had a difficult time searching for a postable video that actually played. I finally came across a decent copy that wasn't ripped from YouTube. My Jakey poo seems to be appealing to his little homosexual fanbase with some DREAMGIRLS attitude and sequined sexuality. I was oddly aroused. Don't ask. Enjoy.

MANHATTAN... MY SISTER... AND I

I've spoken about my younger sister a few times in past posts and have mentioned that I miss her very much due to her living out of state and I'm rarely afforded the opportunity to spend quality time with the little bish. I was overwhelmingly surprised this past weekend though, as Lilly called Friday night to tell me that she was staying in NYC over the weekend. Needless to say, mayhem and insanity ensued and we soon found ourselves strolling the streets of downtown NYC with the sole purpose of letting loose and hitting some major stores to feed our Brooklyn born veins with culture and style. Here are a few pics of the event. Enjoy...
My little sister Lilly walks alongside a colorful billboard of Alicia Keys' new flick SMOKIN' ACES and is ironically SMOKING a cigarette in the process. As for that strange little thing that's hanging near her ass... no... it's not a tail. It's her hot pink satin scarf that swayed in the NY breeze our whole time there. Because her blue stitched jeans, leather jacket and Aldo cap wasn't enough, she threw on this extremely gay scarf for a splash of color and character. That's my sis!!

Here, my beautiful sister Lilly and I enjoy a little time together as we walked down the streets of Soho embraced in one another's arms. Ok... so you can't really see my hot ass, but I swear that next time I post a bunch of photos of myself, I'll have plenty of Latino ass and muscles on display...


Ok... so the pic is a side-view of me. My sister Nat was snapping away as I walked the streets of Manhattan and caught me by surprise countless times. I'm not really one to pose for a photo as I believe it's cheesy and somewhat vain, but I think she does a damn good job with the natural photo-ops. Here I find myself waiting for Lilly as she entered H&M... to basically chat on her dang cell phone. Go figure...



And here's another picture of me waiting for my sister to exit a boutique in downtown Broadway. Notice the special effects on the car in the background to the left. Trippy huh?

I'm extremely delighted to share these photos with my readers on such a special day. I barely get the opportunity to see my lil' sis so when I do get the chance, for me it seems like time stands still. Looly... I love you more than
Cheez-wiz on pita bread...


Besos para ti...

Saturday, January 13, 2007

MOSTLY LATIN HUNKS... EXCEPT FOR ONE WHITE GUY


MY UNDERWEAR IS ALL FUCKING TORN UP AGAIN HUNK...

AFTER WORK, I LIKE TO WRAP MYSELF IN A RED SEXY TOWEL HUNK...

THIS IS HOW I SIT ON ALL MY CHAIRS HUNK...

YOU KNOW YOU LIKE MY TATTOOES YOU DIRTY BITCHES HUNK...

I ENJOY GETTING SAND UP MY ASS HUNK...

CHECK OUT MY SCULPTED BACK AND RED UNDIES HUNK...


BLING AROUND MY NECK HUNK...


KISSING MY LARGE TIGER BICEP HUNK...


WAIST, ABS AND SEXY ARMPIT HUNK...

AND THIS IS WHY I'M CONSIDERING THE PORN INDUSTRY. HOW CAN I GO WRONG?


You see, it's all about getting those dollar bills people. Sure, working the white and blue collar 9-5 can bring in the cash, but what's wrong with making some loot while dancing your pretty little ass off simultaneously? Hey... if you have the body, the face and the charisma, then shake your frickin' ass like it's the day before the apocalypse. My prospects never looked better. Yummo...


FEEL FREE TO LEAVE A COMMENT STATING WHICH DUDE TWISTED YOUR KNICKERS...


IF I RECEIVE ENOUGH COMMENTS, PERHAPS I'LL NARROW DOWN MY LIST A BIT...


IF I DON'T RECEIVE A RESPONSE, THEN I'LL BE FORCED TO POST WOMEN...


WOMEN ARE HOT, DON'T GET ME WRONG, BUT DON'T YOU ENJOY THE MEN?