HOW HIGH AM I?

Sure, it's a little blurry. Sometimes pictures come out that way. But look at them. Look at the voluptuous shape of those ripe... um... I need to get a grip. I'm not supposed to be feeling this way. I just can't help myself when breasts like these are thrust into my field of vision. It's disorientating and my only cure would be to squeeze them with wild abandon. Better yet, I would also fully enjoy resting my head in between them.

The beautiful boobs that lay before you are those of my #2 hag... hIgh... with a capital I. Let me tell you a little something about hIgh. She is a layered, sharp-as-a-tack, Amazonian fox. Our interludes and general conversation would make a porn star blush. hIgh knows who she is and will verbally trounce you if you attempt to challenge her wit (only I can converse with her on that special level). We just simply GET EACH OTHER. I love her for that.

hIgh my Greek Goddess, I confess my undying loyalty and lust for you and someday, maybe someday, you'll take a glance down at my crotch and realize my penis is fully penetrated in your vagina. I love you, my self-proclaimed "gay man trapped in a woman's body..."

Slurp...

(I must apologize to my virginal readers. Today's post was inspired from my crotch)

THIS IS WHY I LOVE ME SOME JIMMY FALLON...

I LOVE JIMMY BECAUSE HE MADE STICK-UP-HER-ASS MARTHA STEWART LAUGH...
(SHE EVEN GAVE HIM A CANNABIS PLANT AT THE END)

LOST IN TRANSLATION...

Tastes like chicken...

Unless you are certified at frolic...

We fight you long time...

Please moan for cream and sugar...

I graduated from the BJ American School, suma cum loudly! (Thanks RG)

I was lost after tradition E...

Finally: fashion for the blind...

D-Titty for larger spaces...

Did the cat just ask me to kill myself?

Come back in 1 week...

Because mine isn't so great...

And Beavis is on the floor...

And the ! is like a baseball bat.

Do you feel insane? Yes, I feel fucking insane.

WHEN FRIENDS ARE ACTORS...

A fellow co-worker and budding actor, my pal Josh Pesin took on a role in the upcoming Angelina Jolie flick "SALT" which is currently being filmed here in New York City. Never one to turn down a project, Josh has made his appearance in countless Hollywood films such as War of the Worlds and Revolutionary Road, along with television series' such as Law and Order and The Sopranos.

In this photo, Josh is accompanied by his fellow S.W.A.T. team members as they take a much-needed break from filming (and protecting) to pose for a photo. Josh will be prominently spotlighted in a scene where a funeral procession of the dead President of Russia is slowly making its way down Park Avenue as a BBC news reporter begins discussing the heightened security of the funeral. Josh states that he, along with a bunch of other S.W.A.T. team members (replete with rifles in hand), will be the heightened security that the main camera is focusing on as the reporter speaks.

I must admit, compared with his buddies, Josh portrays a member of NY's finest with a stern focus and believability. With an expanding resume that also includes 30 Rock and Fringe, Josh continues to work his way up into the arduous and abstruse world of showbiz. It's rather difficult not to be jealous of a man who was quite literally in arms-reach of one of the most stunning and talented actresses of our time.

Bravo to you Mr. Josh Pesin... for hard work (and a boat-load of tenacity) always pays off at the end.

WHY DO YOU REALLY HATE HIM...?

Make no mistake about it: Alex Rodriguez's spread in the current issue of Details makes him look like a total narcissist. The photographer, Steven Klein, is an extremely creative force who enjoys pushing the comfort levels of both his subject and those who observe his work.

Why do people, guys in particular, hate A-Rod? Well, you can hate him because he lied, because he cheated or because he's not Derek Jeter. Most men, particularly the insecure ones, hate him because he reminds them of their own perceived shortcomings, and so to make themselves feel better, they call him the one word they have relied on to strip a man of his worth for decades: gay.

In fact, the whole story has way more to do with us than it does him. A-Rod is beautiful, but that's hardly a reason to hate him. Now you can hate him because he flaunts it. It's curious how technology makes it possible for anyone on the planet to pull up A-Rod's photo spread, and yet when it comes to discussing it, we're trapped on some sort of medieval hamster wheel:

"He's on the DL"
"That's supergay"
"Mirror, mirror on the wall, Could this be the gayest pose of all?"

I'm not going to lie -- I do find some of the quips to be pretty funny. The thing is, the pictures aren't really "gay" at all. They're just Alex staring at himself next to a tire in an abandoned building. That's not gay; that's just high fashion.

Clearly, you don't have to be a gay male to be good looking or say, "Alex Rodriguez is a good-looking guy", but you do have to be secure in who you are and who you are not. Obviously that's a tall order, considering that when many straight males talk about the appearance of another male in a positive way, he usually has to follow that up by punching a dude in the arm or adding a disclaimer such as, "My girl likes him, so I guess he's good looking." Look, being gay simply means you're attracted to the same gender -- that's it. It doesn't mean you have this burning desire to put on a dress, kiss yourself in the mirror or lie on a dirty mattress.

Trust me, I know...

WHEN I SEE MARCY I JIZZ IN MY PANTS...

WHY DO I HAVE TO FEEL THIS WAY...

How do you tell someone that you constantly and obsessively think about them? How do you tell someone that together, you would make the hottest couple ever? How do you tell someone that you absolutely lust over the inner-core of who they are? How do you tell someone that you get flushed and nervous whenever they're in your presence? How do you tell someone that you want to grab them from behind and kiss them sensually on the neck? How do you tell someone that you want to embrace them and stare into their eyes? How do you tell someone that you have been the object of lust for many, yet it is you who now lusts after someone?

How do you tell him that you never felt this strongly about any human being before?

You don't.

Not if you're gay and he's... straight.

I feel like shit. I need a hug.

LOST IN TRANSLATION...

OOPS... how did he get in here?

Complete with Pentium 4 processors...

From the makers of Asslis...

The best chocolate I ever TRINED...

No DRONKING either...

I will be on the lookout...

It's mostly for the Sea Lions...

Guess where it goes...

Savor it... it's your last one.

The Bad Room... where all the naughtiness takes place...

I'll have a well-behaved omelet please...

Hannibal Lechter's Delight...

I know it's somewhere...

LABELS... WHO NEEDS STINKING LABELS?

Sexuality is something that should never be labeled. Naturally you have people who categorize themselves as heterosexual, and you have people who categorize themselves as homosexual. Within these two sexual preferences sits a gray, leveled middle. In the center of the Kinsey Scale lies what is considered the bisexual (I would be a number 5). Bisexuality allows one to be attracted to both sexes. In between these sexual categories lies those who might consider themselves neither one or the other. We are the forgotten, unpopular crew who don't necessarily have a clear-cut definition as to what may define our most inner desires.

Speaking for myself, I find that I am certifiably aware I am attracted to men. Some may call that homosexual... but here is where things get a bit blurred. You see, I occasionally find myself languishing over women. To be a bit more clear, I thrive and swoon when I'm in the company of gorgeous, voluptuous women despite considering myself a "gay" man.

You might be asking yourself, "Is this poor guy just a confused bastard?" Well let me answer that with a thunderous NO. I feel that I am too intelligent and varied to be limited to one category or title. Me stymie my sexual potential? I think not.

It takes a very special kind of woman to test my sexual desires and have me walking the fence of ambiguity. I work with one such woman and I'm perplexed and intrigued by my unabashed gravitation towards her. Let's call her MARCY shall we?

Marcy is someone whom I speak to regularly and our conversations are unlike any other. Sure, I have countless stimulating conversations which leave me out of breath and quite aroused, but Marcy is someone who regularly tests the circuits of my libido.

BUZZ BUZZ

Whatever the name or category one might conjure up regarding someone like myself, I wonder if what I feel should even be studied or examined at all. Shouldn't embracing my feelings be enough? What is the need for labels anyway? I find these labels extremely limiting and claustrophobic if you ask me...

Women are gorgeous, soft, layered and intelligent. I enjoy touching and squeezing them. I love kissing them whilst grabbing a boob or two. They offer substance and are emotionally available at the drop of a dime. Ok my bad, most women are. Nevertheless, I enjoy being surrounded by the most attractive ladies (and I don't mean strictly outer-shell). Beauty has an obvious meaning in my attraction to someone as it is honestly the first quality that catches my eye. But as you and I know well, substance is key. It could be their little gestures that may come off as a bit corky... or maybe it's their coquettish reactions to my advances that have me sitting giddy. With me, my main attraction to a lady manifests itself in the little things. Little things mean the world to me.

Now don't get me wrong. Although I do find myself occasionally attracted to women, my most prominent lust lies with men. I'm secure in the fact that I have a raw, natural attraction to the male species and have known this since I was a child. When I'm near an attractive man, my zipper bursts in excitement. I "came out" to close friends and family when I was 21 and until I had my first experience with a man, I had no clue what I was missing. Before my sexual rebirth, nothing felt quite right. The essence of my identity was extremely blurred and missing in a sea of confusion.

I guess what I'm really trying to say is that I'm satisfied with the occasional hiccups within my sexual desires. With age comes limitless possibilities in the realm of attraction and I ponder what may unfold if I continue to explore what I thought I once disliked.

THANK YOU TO ALL THE MARCYS OUT THERE FOR FUELING MY CONTINUED EXPLORATION OF THE EVER-INTRIGUING SEXUAL GRAY AREA.

BESITOS

GETTING TO KNOW ME...

I believe part of the whole aura of blogging is the fact that you can express yourself creatively and also have the chance to network and build cyber-relationships with your blogging buddies.

As I clearly don't have any issues with expressing my creative talents, I do feel that I can always improve on my cyber-pal relations. A contributing factor in acquiring visitors and retaining their attention is to share a snippet of who you are with your friends.

I've included some of the things I find stimulating enough to mention.
Get to know me a little will ya...

Music

Music has been with us as long as we can collectively remember. Musical instruments have been found dating back tens of thousands of years. I feel that if I just so happened to be a bird, my love of music will have me squawking to the beat with feathery abandon. It's in my soul, and that's far beyond the limits of a human/animal body.


HUMOR

Without humor peppered in every aspect of my life, I would buckle forward and curl up into a fetus position while popping Paxil after Paxil. I absolutely need humor to saturate my life. It's what makes me the life of the party dammit.

VIDEO GAMES

Since my very first Donkey Kong Jr. hand-held video game, I've been completely magnetized with the progression in technology and the limitless possibilities that this genre can accomplish. Just when the masses were ready to dismiss Nintendo, the Godly ones that be clapped their omnipotent hands and created the Wii. Don't fuck with Nintendo. They're veterans dammit.


FAMILY

Now that I've got your undivided attention, I should mention that my family is not in fact a terrorist organization. I just utilized a little shock strategy to retain your interest in my shennanigans. Oh yeah, my family is great. They're non-violent too.


BACON DOUBLE-CHEESEBURGER

All you vegans and veggies out there... CLOSE YOUR EYES!! Ok... phew. That was close. Anywho... I covet the bacon cheeseburger. Don't get me wrong now, I do enjoy my healthy food. I just felt it necessary to include that I'm a VIGILANT, CARNIVOROUS BEAST when it comes to food. I love me some MEAT. Coming from a gay man, I can see how that might provoke you to have yourself a little chuckle on my behalf.


DUDES

As a good-looking fellow myself (so I've been told) I must say that my tastes are rather exquisite. There isn't really one particular thing I look for in a guy, it's just that special something in their eyes. Oh, who am I kidding? The first pic doesn't even show the poor guy's head. Oh never mind. Enough with the gayness.


LINDSAY LOHAN

Sure, the bish is a hot mess, but don't you understand that is why I'm intrigued by this freckled freak? The woman is gorgeous and although she hasn't made a successful movie in years, she's managed to remain in the public eye. Why do photogs continue to hunt her down for that shot? Because she's interesting and has that special something... um... around her nose. Wipe your nose Lindsay. You're getting messy.


CORNY SUNSETS

By all means I am not a romantic. Not by a loooong shot. But I must admit that I do find myself mesmerized by the ocular wonder that is the sunset. I guess it's more scientific fascination than wanting to hold someone's hand.


DARK ART

I have a whole collection. Ask me about it one day...


MY HERITAGE

First and foremost I am a proud American. I was born and raised here and will always have the utmost respect and pride for the soil beneath my feet. That being said, I am second-generation American - my heritage being of Puerto Rican descent. A true blue American with Latin roots, I now pay more attention to what it means to be culturally aware. My American half braids itself to my Latin half, which are intertwined with great appreciation for both. Besides, Latins do it best.

I kid.

And that is a small part of what makes my life tick.
I tag WAT, MOLLY, MIMI, PRINCESSA and ALLISON.