RANDOM GRATUITOUS RICKY MARTIN PICS

In this sexy photo, Ricky focuses directly onto his crotch with gay spiked belt and matching wrist bands. Sitting on a fence in what looks like remote farmland, Ricky contemplates his empty sexless life without me. He's decided to go celibate while he patiently awaits my companionship. Shirtless and lusting for my loins, Ricky wanders into the wilderness seeking to know what true manly love is all about. Once we're together, we'll feed each other Bon Bon's whilst shaking our Bon Bon. Can't wait.

Where do I even begin? Everything about this pic wakes up my inner sexual beast as it savagely claws and busts through my Calvin Klein underwear. Gosh, I can't even describe this volcanic urge that's awakened when I come across a simple yet steaming pic like this. His eyes and ears are luscious. If anyone feels the way I do about Ricky, feel free to leave a comment...

NATASHA BEATS THE EVIL DRAGON...

Natasha Lyonne, who's been in tons of underground movies including Blade 3, seems to be recovering well from a mishap with drug abuse last year. Natasha has spent most of this year in a facility in Malibu and by the looks of it, has put on some weight which means that her recovery is steadfast. Heroin is a killer drug that can grip your soul and suck it dry, so I'm pleased beyond belief that she's made it out fine...

Looking miles healthier than those horrible candid hospital pics that were published all over the New York Post by some tacky-ass journalist, Natasha talks on the phone as she's bombarded by paparazzi just drooling for some dirt to report. Drugs are no joke. Natasha, I hope you manage to turn things around and return in front of the camera. You're an amazing actress. [source]

NOW THIS IS A CLASSIC PERFORMANCE

When I came upon this crazy-ass video, I almost pee'd and farted at the same time. I was laughing that much. Keep a sharp eye on his wig. Looking like the wig is just about to fly off, he manages to keep it on. Just seeing him swing his head while insanely running around had me in hysterics yo. Also, you might want to watch the entire video -- in the end he decides to do a handstand and ends up falling onto his bed. Classic shit...

CLASSIC MADONNA: FEATURING BRITNEY

I live and breathe performances like these. My motto has always been that if you're on stage performing a song or dance, make it memorable. Madonna has memorable moment after memorable moment, and sometimes I feel my head is going to implode. Britney and Madonna on stage at the same time is overload enough... but to witness some wild lesbionic loving is a treat beyond treats. Take notice at the stars in the audience. Mary J. Blige looks like she's going to pass the fcuk out while 50 Cent and Vivica are lovin' it...

RICKY AND HIS LOVER... BEACH FROLIC

Ricky smiles because he's absolutely proud of his gay tattoo, his gay stomach muscle thingy, his gay knees, his gay calves and most of all... his gay ankle bracelet. I bet if you zoom in closely to the bracelet and read what's finely etched, it'll say... "Only homos wear ankle bracelets..."

"This is the leg that I want to put over your shoulder while you serenade me..." So says Ricky as he confesses his lusty love towards his hunky "friend" while demonstrating the goods. "Anyone gay-bashes me and I'll kick them! I'll effing kick them! And I'll pull their hair too!"

Ricky and his man shake out their towel to get rid of excess sand and man juice. Despite all the sand in the air, you can clearly see Ricky's gaylicious ankle bracelet again. I can stare at them all day simply wondering which one is the bottom. I think Ricky is. [source]

I'LL NURTURE THAT LILY... AND WATER IT

I imagine my younger sister and I standing by the shore, without a solitary worry in the world. I imagine a place that's eons away from any bad memories. I imagine how carefree my younger sister used to be, and how I wish the world surrounding her was a world free of pain and self-doubt. I imagine my sister standing close alongside me while we both stare off into the beauty before us, with no concern of the outside world. I imagine her coming back to me... as our journey through the amazing is not yet over with. So much more to do... see... and accomplish. Keep your head up and stay fuerte mama, for I know you'll return to your nest... with every feather intact. I love you. I miss you... [source]

NICOLE JEALOUS OF PARIS? WHATEVER

Paris Hilton has a song on her album named "Jealousy." It's pretty sad to see this video compilation of Nicole and Paris when things were... well... simpler. Listen to the words Paris put together regarding Nicole's supposed jealousy towards her. It's odd how I almost got teary-eyed. How gay.

RANDOM HUNKS: FEATURING JOE AND TARIK

What can I say about Joe. He's doing the obligatory LEAN against a concrete wall. He's rubbing his head as if he'd rather be rubbing his other head, and he's wearing what looks like long johns. Wearing them nicely I might add... [source]

If these aren't the hottest abs, than I don't know what is. While Tarik displays his six pack of goodness, I'm busy working on my four pack -- patiently waiting for it to become a six pack...

Tarik is fine. He's finer than fine. Words can't express how I feel about... well... his torso. He's definitely a hot one. All you fat, chips eatin' couch potatoes take note. See what a bit of working out can do? If only Terrorists looked like this...

MADONNA REALLY LOVES HER GUY...

Although Madonna and Guy Richie experienced some turbulence in their marriage not too long ago, it's been reported that the couple came out of it with a better understanding and love for one another. You can't help but wonder if she's spilling the beans in her song "Sorry" -- as the title suggests she's fed up with lies and excuses. "I don't want to hear... I don't want to know... please don't say you're sorry... I've heard it all before... and I... can take care of myself BIOTCH!!" I added that last word for a bit of spice. [source]

WHERE'S MY CRILLZ? OH HELL TO THE NO!!

"Hey Bobby! I told this mutha fucka to come straight home after picking up a new batch of shit. I'm sitting here like a jackass just waiting for him to show up, God knows... he probably dun sniffed all my shit already. Hey Bobby! Get your ass home right now, I need my crillz bitch!" May you get well Whitney. We miss you.

DO WE ACTUALLY HAVE THE FIRST PIC??

As everyone may know, Tom Cruise and Katey Holmes have been rather elusive regarding the whereabouts of their baby, as no pictures of the little tyke have been released to the public as of yet. People continue to wait for any news regarding Suri (oh yeah, that's her name) and have actually become impatient towards the couple. Just ask John Travolta and Kirstie Ally. Anywayz, I came across this little gem of a pic on some gossip site and truly believe this is ALIEN BABY SURI. Joking aside, I must say... this pic creeps me out beyond belief. I almost didn't post it onto my site. On the serious tip, I pray that this baby is a prosthetic Hollywood prop. Look at it's mouth!! SURI LIVES!! [source]

PINK SINGS FROM A PAGE IN HER PAST...

This video is dedicated to someone close to me. Although the story doesn't match their story entirely, I think of them and get teary eyed when I watch it. Listen carefully to the words and witness the pain in Pink's face as she sings about what I'm sure was a personal experience with a friend...

BEYONCE LOST 20 POUNDS OF BRAIN?

Normally I would say nothing but sweet and luscious things about Miss B. I love most of her songs, enjoy some of her videos, and even find myself gawking at her hips and her mid-section with mouth fully open. Unfortunately I must profess my utter disappointment with the chosen pic for her album cover. I personally think she looks completely empty and vapid, staring off into God knows where (possibly at me?). Hopefully the content IN her album will outshine the content OUTSIDE of her album. Yucky poo. {Listen to Deja Vu here bishes}

MARGARET CHO DOES THE GAY GAMES

I know I've already posted the Queen of all Haggys earlier this week, but there has to be notable mention to the Celebrity Hag of all Hags... my Korean lovely, Margaret Cho. Margaret Cho performed during the opening ceremony of the Gay Games on Saturday, July 15, 2006 at Soldier Field (how ironic) in Chicago. Gay men just love this woman of wonder -- including this gay man. [source]

LINDSAY LOOKS RAVISHING FOR PROACTIV

Here's my Lindso doing a Proactiv commercial. My God, she looks beautiful. Black hair forever I say! If you look closely, she almost looks like she's just passing the time. Bored even. My Lindso with pimples? Never.

ISRAEL AND HEZBOLLAH...TIT FOR TAT

Everyone take a close look at where Israel is located on this map. This tiny country, which is literally surrounded by a handful of nations who feel they shouldn't even be on the map, is plagued by constant threats from relentless bombings and terrorist threats. Feeling ambushed, for lack of a better word, Israel has no other option but to strike back. War is pathetic.

Two-year-old Karim Qobeisi is treated in a hospital in the southern market town of Nabatiyeh in Lebanon, Sunday, after he was injured during an Israeli airstrike whilst in his house -- according to his father who was also injured. It's horribly obvious that this little boy is in severe pain -- the results of grown men playing with their deadly little toys. How sad. [source]

The current Israeli/Hezbollah war that's happening as we speak continues to get worse, as both sides seem to be trying to BEST one another. Although Israel's only option is to protect themselves, innocent lives on both ends are being ravaged and killed. This photo only represents the hellish conditions and complete panic among innocent civilians in their villages.

[photo credit: AP/Hussein Malla]

ONE OF MY MANY FUTURE HUSBANDS...

Ah... the Rickster... looking all misty and sexy in the eyes. I don't know how you other dudes show it, but when I'm feeling sexy and misty, I prefer throwing my arms up to the sky too. [source]

Looking like he just completed the most rugged workout imaginable, Ricky adjusts his wrist band and makes a semi-fist, displaying how he keeps his man happy. And I must say, I'm a very happy man indeed... [source]

And here is hot and sweaty Ricky during one of his steamy performances. Just look at that clean-shaven belly and his almost mid-drift homo shirt. I wonder if he makes that face in bed. Guess there's only one way to find out huh? [source]

I'M PATIENTLY WAITING FOR THE INEVITABLE

Ricky Martin is completely content playing games with us. I guess he's just living la vida loca. Rumors have been running rampant regarding his sexuality since I can remember, and I've been listening to my gaydar chirp on full blast to boot. I have to admit that I've had a man crush on this dude since I saw him shaking his Puerto Rican booty on stage at the Grammys. Not even I can wear a form fitting sweater like this dude. Hot. Nevertheless, I'm patiently awaiting his coming out party. Now is the time to release those inhibitions Ricky. Your career has fizzled a bit which leaves an open window for some media stimulation. Normally I would encourage the whole question game, as it's nobody's effing business who you decide to bed. I know that first hand. I guess I'm just anticipating the hottest possible confession of the century. Gay, Bi or Tranny... I'm happy with whatever your decision might be. Maybe you can just confess to me? I won't tell a soul... [source]

INTRODUCING THE QUEEN OF ALL HAGGYS

Yes ladies and gentlemen, this is my Haggy, the one that shares my insanity with an equal amount of crazy. My Haggy's looking quite lovely as she waits for her main course. I'm sure if I was there, she probably would've thrown a nacho or two in my direction... just for the fcuk of it. Now, I must say, this has been a long time in coming. Denise has been patiently awaiting her introduction... her official introduction into my blogosphere, as it's been way overdo. Well here you go bish face. Nothing can explain my bond with Dee, and I'm perfectly content with the unexplained. Here's to you Haggy... just don't get the nacho in my eye okay?

SPIDER SOLITAIRE AND MY HAGGY...

When I chill at my Haggy's house, we like to spend time in her computer room playing online games and catching up on our gossip sites. During our feverish hunt for the optimal Escape The Room game, there are plenty of load times and waiting around for the game to begin. During this time (which can be used discussing our crazy day, or even lovingly cursing each other out) is used playing Satan's game itself... SPIDER SOLITAIRE. This game, despite it's creepy popularity among the insane, just gets under my skin... like fungus. Don't get me wrong, seeing my Haggy in a loop of bliss as she drags and drops these cards to it's corresponding column makes me giggle, but at times I just want to scream. I am fortunate enough to have a haggy who can chew gum and walk though, as she manically repeats my name... Eddie ... Eddie ... Eddie, while clicking away (to keep me awake of course). Sometimes she'll even throw in a little "Why are you such a homo...?" for shits and giggles. Love her. Hate Spider. [source]

BUSH...THE NEW CHILD TERRORIST

Bush and babies don't mix. Bush has been snapped holding a terrorized baby one too many times for my liking. A baby's intuition speaks volumes doesn't it? [source]

Oh Geez, what the hell is this guy doing now? I can't help but think that this baby represents what is an obvious collective sob from all Americans. Is he mocking the baby? Is he scared of dropping the poor thing? No. The baby just knows a fraud when he sees it. [source]

DOLCE & GABBANA KNOW THEIR SHIT

Take a trip to Times Square and you'll find a plethora of billboards laced with pale, half-nude models sprawled out in a lifeless, unsexual manner. Dolce & Gabbana are the complete opposite. They know how to capture the true essence of sex... and I likey. Hey blondie... pull them down a little further will ya? [source]

RANDOM HUNKS: FEATURING DEWELL

Of course, I must begin my special little list with a dude whom I've grown rather close to recently -- a guy who's rugged, kind, and devilishly attractive. My semi-boyfriend Dewell. Although he'll probably be a bit pissed with the fact that I posted something about him, I'm willing to take the risk. What do you think folks? (Dewell... don't get pissed pa, you're a star now!)
Rafael exudes hotness. Now, I don't usually find chiseled "model type" guys attractive, so I find it odd that when I look at him I want to squirt. I'll chalk it up to his hot torso and pubes...

I chose Philippe because it's no surprise to my close friends that I find smaller guys extremely attractive. I'm a rather tall guy ( 6' 3'' to be exact) so the last thing I need is another HEAVING TOWER walking alongside me down the street. It can be unusually intimidating...

And I chose this cutey simply because I caught a sexually induced eye spasm when I came across his pic. His bushy hair... his nice lips... and most of all his hot nipples (that's right bishes). It completes a sexy little package of hotness. Yum. [source]

LATIN LOOKOUT PIC OF THE MONTH...

There comes a time when I'll come across one of the most hottest specimens known to mankind. I'm not the type of guy who glimpses at someone good-looking and then lose control. I mean, not to sound narcissistic, but I'm a good-looking dude myself. At least that's what people tell me. So, on that note, there is a sea full of lookers out there (models, porn stars, celebrities) whom I find pleasing to the eye... but they're missing that special something. Something raw (and Hispanic). Be it as it may, I don't know who this guy is nor do I know his name, so let's call him Alex. Yeah, that's it. Alex. He's my Latin Lookout pic of the month and my first official entry into the soon-to-be regular section: LATIN LOOKOUT. [source]

BEYONCE ROCKS THE BET AWARDS...

This is why I'm in love with this woman. This is how you make a performance. Artists take note. Beyonce completely kills it. She's all over the stage, while maintaining an effortless vocal performance. Hope you enjoy it as much as I did...

FALLING FROM THE MISGUIDED TREE...

Oh, MARY KATE. There's so much about you that's making me happy. Your healthy skin! Your body weight! The fact that your clothes don't look like you dragged them out of the dumpster behind the local RAG SHOP! But then...there's the small issue about the hair:

I just don't know what to say. It's a headband. Of hair. On your forehead. Like some of my West Indian friends might say... "But what de hell is dis?"

Here is Sarah Jessica Parker on the cover of Good Housekeeping. Look at her eyes. Look at her evil eyes. WTF? Nothing seems to be going right from the neck up, and the neck down. Geez.

1. I feel for you Chaka.
2. It's summer. It's hot outside. This is not the time to dress like a frickin' Dominatrix.
3. I think I spy with my little eye something beginning with "c" and ending in "amel toe," and it's all thanks to your joyless tights.
4. Somewhere, the gay Musketeer is sobbing, because this is what he really wanted to wear.

LOVE SUCKS MORE THAN YOUR MOTHER

It's no surprise that there's a difference in the way men and women love. Now I'm no expert in the ways of loving, but I can attempt to make sense of what I've observed and absorbed over my 31 years of living. When men and women get together, there are, in effect, two worlds—his and hers. They have different values, priorities, and habits. They play by different rules. Maybe I can't speak for every man, but I'm sure it's safe to say that men have a more physical connection with love than women do. Don't mistake my assumption though; I'm well-aware that there are plenty of "Samanthas" out there whose sole purpose is looking to get porked. But it's no secret that women (my intelligent haggys) look for some depth -- some mental stimulation. Plain and simple bitches: Men lika the poosy, and women lika the chin dimple and brain. Peace out.

ABSOLUTELY ONE OF MY FAVORITES...

PARIS WILL SNUFF THE SHIZZNIT OUT OF YOU

Paris Filthon is releasing an album. Nothing but tea and honey for Miss Hilton from now on, as her eighth-octave will have to be pampered and stroked. Looking quite metallic and glossy, I wonder if she has pores. I also wonder if she poops like the rest of us. You know, the whole squat and push. I just don't see it. Poop wonderment aside, Mariah and Whitney better be prepared for the vocaloid assault that is Paris. [source]

JUSTIN GIVES A LESSON ON SOUL

Hearing nothing but chirping crickets... Justin decides to just press on, giving his audience some hot milky flava. Bringing back the funk is what he does best.

"You can all just lick it... just lick it good. All you pussy little followers who think you can dance and shake yo thang like me must be out of yo mind yo..." So says Justin as he frames his penis to back up his destructive anger.

Here Justin flips the universal BIRD whilst frolicking like a little bitch on stage. You see, Justin thinks he's the only black man who can sing and dance with such soul. Such captivating soul. His ties to the Mickey Mouse Club are far behind him, as he's all grown up now and hip to the beat. The beat of the Black Cracker. OOPS...did I just just say that? [source]

MIHRAN MAKES ANOTHER HOT APPEARANCE

This is Madonna's new advertisement for her H&M campaign. Miss Ciconne is looking purty as usual, but it's not her who I'm gawking at. Take a wee look at the lower right side of the picture. Yes, that's my buddy Mihran Kirakosyan, the hot dancer who's touring with her Madgesty whom I've smittenly written of in past posts. I'm not sure if he's latino -- with a last name like that, he sounds more terrorist than Puerto Rican. Damn it. courtesy of Hennes & Mauritz

AND FOR SOME IMPORTANT NEWS...

Kim Jong II, North Korea's President, has me sick to my stomach. Seeing his ugly mug plastered all over the television, including my morning paper has gotten ridiculous. This man, who has no value for human life, insists on playing war games with the U.S. and the rest of the world. His cocky attitude and egotistic reasoning behind nuclear missile testing has reached an eerie climax -- further sending me bolting to my toilet for a spew or two. Is anyone else crapping their pants? Here's some information explaining this matter as we take a break from my usual insignificant Hollywood ramblings...

Here is a wicked little global diagram that shows the range of these ghastly missiles. It's difficult to see from this picture, but the outer ring (the Taepo Dong 2 range) comes close to the West Coast of the United States... if not overlapping it. Run for your life Lindsay my love! We can't afford to lose you!

Seen here is a drawing of what the actual nuclear missiles look like along with their corresponding names. Pay close attention folks. Just one of these missiles, even the less potent ones, can do such apocalyptic damage that 9/11 would seem miniscule. The Taepo Dong 2 (as phallic as it may look) has the farthest long-range capability -- reaching as far as California for example. Hollywood gossip (how ironic) doesn't seem so interesting now huh? When it strikes, don't forget to stop, drop and roll bitches. Let us pray... [source]

LINDSAY TAKES ME TO NEW HEIGHTS...

Lindsay Lohan will be appearing on the cover of the August issue of GQ Magazine. Let it be known that these are some of her best photos yet. God, what would I do without her sauciness?

"Smoking is a dirty habit. It's a dirty habit for a dirty girl..." Such says Lindso as the ashes from her cigarette falls gracefully onto her cleavage. I'm about to pop. In a gay way of course...

This is how every woman should stand. Break out this stance when you're waiting for the bus, when you're washing a dirty stack of dishes, while you're on a massive line at Six Flags or even when you don't have a seat on the Subway. It's hot.

OMG, what's happening to me. I'm actually getting aroused. Lindsay, wearing one of the hottest bras I've ever seen (notice the little lace strings that hang elegantly) just gave me a homosexual boner...

"Drama sells and nobody wants to watch Miss Perfect..." That's right bish, you tell them. Nobody likes a goody goody...so all you cookie-cutter, fluffy, boring-ass Hollywood starlets take note. [source]