LAUGH UNTIL YOU HONK...

• I went to my doctor and told him "my penis is burning." He said, "That means somebody is talking about it."
• A car hits a Jewish man. The paramedic rushes over and says, "Are you comfortable?" The guy says: "I make a good living."
• A guy shows up late for work. The boss yells "You should have been here at 8:30!" He replies: "Why? What happened at 8:30?"
• A guy calls up the Home Shopping Network. They said "Can I help you?" and he said "No, I'm just looking."
• I feel sorry for people who don’t drink or do drugs because someday they’re going to be in a hospital bed, dying, and they won’t know why.
• I was on the subway, sitting on a newspaper, and a guy comes over and asks "Are you reading that?" I didn’t know what to say. So I said yes. I stood up, turned the page, and sat down again.
• I have a large seashell collection, which I keep scattered on beaches all over the world.
• I bought a box of animal crackers and it said "Do not eat if seal is broken." So I opened up the box, and sure enough... dammit.

INSIDE WHITNEY'S HEAD...

"Hey... a mutha fuckin' fly just flew in my ear. I hate when that shit happens. Mutha fuckin' flies. If Bobby was here he would've protected me. He keeps the mutha fuckin' flies at bay. He's my man. He knows what's up. Oh wait... I left that mutha fucka last week. Yeah... thas right. That dirty mutha scumbag... he better watch his back. I'd hit him wit a baseball bat. It's time to clap. No mo' sitting on his lap. Crack is wack."

JUSTIN GETS EXTREMELY PERSONAL

Justin shows America how his "ON THE DOWNLOW" boyfriend has left his asshole in a shambles. Not only does he DISPLAY it's actual size, but he seems rather proud to EXHIBIT such a personal mishap. Rock on you big faggy bottom. Maybe you should call Lance Bass... [source]

CINDY AND CHAVEZ TO BRING DOWN U.S.

Venezuela Dictator Hugo Chavez has vowed to bring down the U.S. government. Chavez, president of Venezuela, told a TV audience: "Enough of imperialist aggression; we must tell the world: down with the U.S. empire. We have to bury imperialism this century." The guest on his television program was Cindy Sheehan, the antiwar activist. Chavez recently had as his guest Harry Belafonte, who called President Bush "the greatest terrorist in the world." Chavez is pushing a socialist revolution and has a close alliance with Cuban dictator Fidel Castro. Regardless of your feelings about the war in Iraq, the issue here is that we have a socialist dictator vowing to bring down the government of the U.S. and he is using our money to achieve his goal. The Venezuelan government is the sole owner of Citgo gas company. Sales of products at Citgo stations send money back to Chavez to help him in his vow to bring down our government. TAKE ACTION PLEASE. Decide that you will not be buying drinks and candy, let alone purchasing gas at a Citgo station. Why should U.S. citizens who stand for freedom be financing a dictator who has vowed to take down everything we know as America?

BEYONCE SPORTS HER NEW LOOK

Why not test run your new and scrumtrulescant look with a good old fashioned over the shoulder smoulder. Her blinged-out gold earrings and her slicked-out cropped hair go well with her ASS... ASS PEOPLE...TO HELL WITH THE HAIR. I CARE ABOUT HER ASS.

Looking luminous and resplendent, Miss Knowles (a.k.a. Jay's bitch) shows off her new look, almost displaying relief that she no longer has to lug the extra weave poundage. Air to the scalp is refreshing and healthy. You don't want to develop a moldy noggin now do you?

Now that Beyonce is 10 pounds lighter due to the shedding of her mane, she now has the well-deserved makeshift right to devour that tasty sandwich in front of her in celebration. Without a doubt, Beyonce goes well with the chop off. Now if only she'll do something about her intrusive and meddling mother. Give her the 'ole sleeping pill I say. [source]

I'M FREE BITCHES... WHERE'S MY DRINK?

Looking unhinged, unsettled and half-cocked, Robin Williams shows his manic side as he makes his first appearance since entering a treatment facility for alcholism. Even the best of the comedians can find themselves self-medicating with alcohol despite an otherwise healthy demeanor. Bitch, I need a drink. [source]

BEYONCE MISPLACED HER BOTTOM

Bathing in what seems to be a never-ending stream of cash, I'm sure Beyonce can afford a slick pair of sequined pants -- maybe even a longer top to cover her panties. Who am I kidding though? Beyonce can go out naked replete with wagging bush for all I care. This bitch is hot. Love her. [source]

2006 MISS IDAHO WINNER...

Introducing the 2006 Miss Idaho Champion for the 20th year in a row. Isn't she just fabulous? These days it's all about the Brazilian wax and how smooth it makes you feel down there. Rock on bitch.

DON'T FUCKING ASK ME AGAIN...

I often find myself having conversations about religion, during which I, inevitably, am asked why I am an atheist. I then take a measured pause and reply, "When I look out into nature, society and the world, I see it's great complexity and beauty; the chiseled elegance of the Grand Canyon, the wonderment that is the Bermuda Triangle, and the raw, inspiring power of a tornado shredding through an unsuspecting trailer community." But, I am then forced to reconcile these splendid occurrences with the fact that their creator, if their was one, is the same being which brought you to be. "You being a person so moronic as to question the logic behind not believing in an omniscient, omnipresent, omnipotent being that created everything we experience in six Gregorian calender days, but was then so utterly exhausted that it needed to rest for 24 hours to regain it's godly strength. The fact that you, or anyone beyond the age of six, accepts any of that tripe as fact and is so impassioned by God's mystical touch that they repeat it to others, claiming to be saving their enchanted magical ghost - otherwise called a soul - is proof enough that there is no God." [source]

JUST YOU AND YOUR HAND BUDDY

I play this song to Dewell whenever I find myself pissed off at him after a heated discussion or argument. The words to this song pretty much sum up the power I have and the rewards I reap when I withhold sex. Nah, that's definitely a joke. Me withhold sex? Never that. Angry sex can be the most erotic...

CONFIDENCE RATHER THAN CONCEIT...

Jealousy. One of the most ugliest traits a human being can display. It's one of the emotions that bares your deepest insecurities for all the public to see. Now, I'm not boasting that I'm the most gorgeous guy on Earth, but I'm no beast either. So with these staggering looks of mine, comes the good and the bad feedback. The good being an occasional compliment from random folk and friends alike about my looks and height. It's always both. When complimented, I immediately display my gratitude with an "I know darling..." or maybe even a "Tell me something I don't know." Unfortunately though, the bad consists of an occasional "below-the-belt" strike to my ego with a suddenly erupting and abrasive demeanor. Maybe even some sarcasm and unnecessary insult thrown in for a laugh or two. Like Dee's contacts, I can see right through. But being the Positive Pete that I am, I inevitably chalk it up to Eddie Envy. Don't try to walk, talk and act like me... just be respectful...

LATIN LOOKOUT: BROWN AND HOT

Looking like he just emerged from a Hawaiian Garden of Eden, this Boricua (yes he's Puerto Rican... look at his face) makes me want to go out and purchase a pair of tropical swim trunks.

Ever since I was a wee old grasshopper, I was convinced that my childhood heroes (Fagman and Robin) were a couple... and Latino. Surprisingly so, I came across what has been invisioned and permanently stapled in my sick little mind: actual proof.

When I step out of the shower and throw on a pair of underwear, I immediately bolt to my window to peer out with the hopes that someone will be looking back at me. It's all about exhibitionism you know. If you got it... err... flash it to the neighbors.

Latin guys continue to dominate in the sexy and raw department. While other races lack crude sexuality, latinos wave it like their prized ethnic flag. I love blogging.

I don't know about you folks but when I step out of a pool, I also extend my tongue in horny anticipation as to what I might find waiting for me. It's all about being wet and cute. Simple as that...

Posting can be taxing at times. Between choosing the right pick for your blog and writing about subjects that keep your readers glued to your site, things can get rather tedious. On the other hand, when you have pics like the one posted above, all trifling matters seem to be discarded out the window. I've never aspired to be a laptop until this moment. Yum.

I haven't had the opportunity to canoodle in the ring and knock some dude out, but I've had the chance to actually spar with my boyfriend Dewell not too long ago. I must say that it can be an erotic sport (if you and your sparring partner are attracted to one another of course). Here's to all the cute boxers out in the ring who keep it violent and chock full of stamina.

BEYONCE PARODY: RING THE ALARM

What can I say? I love Beyonce with lust times ten. This song is fucking hot (no, I'm not Paris), and who better to give proper nods than a scary drag queen doing a fiercer version. If you've seen the Beyonce video Ring The Alarm, then you'll truly appreciate such an insane take on what is one of the baddest videos out there. Classic in my book. Enjoy.

P.S. Thank you bunches Dee. You surprised me with a download of this song and played it numerous times for your homo without getting seriously annoyed. Don't hate. You know you were banging to the beat. Love it.

SOLVING AN ON-GOING PROBLEM...

In previous posts, I've written about my hag and close friends (yes... my Sara and Aury) who I can clearly say don't have much luck traveling on the NYC Subway System. Now, I'm never one to single out any ethnic group for a quick laugh or racist remark, but we collectively and repeatedly stumble upon Asians who (for lack of a sensible reason) are on a mission to destroy any potential for a comfortable train ride to our employ. This little contraption is an invention that should be practiced on those who descend from the Ming Dynasty and beyond. With this handy little device, no longer will you be forced to elbow and kick your way back to your comfort zone. Personal space has never been more refreshing as these incessant "leaners and stinkers" remain lodged and grounded in their own area. And to think... Aury will no longer find it necessary to drop kick the offenders -- Denise can take a well-rested break from swatting and right-hooking the yellow wonders -- and Sara won't deem it necessary to bury herself in a novel to block out the little Asian men who smell like Rah-men Noodle Soup...

GET YOUR LAUGH ON BITCHES...

WHITNEY EXCLUSIVE: WHAT'S ON HER MIND...

"Hey bitches... Now that Bobby is out of the picture, I can make the comeback that all my fans have been yearning for (and all the crillz are mine... no more sharing). I'm glad that I've had such support from friends (they want my money yo) and family (they're all jealous of me) and can only pray that my return to music will be welcomed with open arms (buy my new album you cunts... I need more spoons for my crack). This here pic was taken of me outside of my hotel (as I waited for a "delivery") and I'm pleased to report that I was 100% sober (blitzed out my effing mind while you mutha effas stared at my mink). Don't hate on my hair and teeth. Ya'll just wish you were me. I'm flying solo now bitches. I miss my BOBBY dammit."

SEEING RED...

Every woman in the world can tell you that having her PERIOD is no walk in the park. As the name suggests, a woman's everyday schedule can be slowed to a halt like the dot at the end of this sentence when afflicted. I unfortunately grew up in a house full of women and in turn, layed witness to this monthly terror in all it's malignant spirit. I innocently thought I've seen it all (the rage, the dirty looks, the mocking and taunting of how I had it easy as a male) but to my astoundment, my haggy has transcended all that is bloody and crampy. By some strange miracle, I've managed to dodge any oncoming venom when Denise is at her gloomiest. Like a Puerto Rican ninja, I parry from left to right when her contact-covered eyes seem to be piercing through my soul with misdirected wrath. I swear she seems to get her period around the first of the month (like a welfare check) so I can only prepare for the worst and hope that I survive to make it through the end of the month. Like a schizophrenic eccentric, the PERIOD has seen many nicknames and developed nicknames throughout time, so I'll name a select few in honor of my haggy... or any other female who's bound and determined to spread their bloody path of violence my way:

• Being drafted
• Being female
• Being girly
• Being touched by a Goddess (more like Satan himself)
• Big Red
• Bleedies
• Bleeding Uterus Syndrome (B.U.S.)
• Bloody beast
• Bloody Mary
• Can't go swimming
• Cherry topping
• Chasing waterfalls
• Closed for maintenance
• Code red
• Crimson Curse (not to be confused with Crimson Room Dee)
• Dracula's tea bag
• Earning your red wings
• Hating life
• My pussy cat has a nose bleed (no, not Cheech)
• My Periodical
• Santa Claus
• Too wet to plow
• And my personal favorite... "The wound of Eve that never heals..."

In closing, I hope that every female who reads this will garner a bit of sympathy towards the innocent folk who don't enjoy being chastised while having dirty socks thrown at their face. Love ya haggy...

IT'S MY PREROGATIVE TO DUMP YO ASS...

Either it's been the most incoherent marriage ever or the most gelastic humdinger to date. Whitney and Bobby have finally split up. I recently saw a photo of her taken over the weekend and to my relief, she's gained weight. Her eyes seemed unclouded and luminous -- looking better than she has in years. Now, I could've easily posted the picture I indicated above, but I'd much rather reminisce about the good times: Whitney in all her cracked-out glory. Amercia, your songbird has finally returned. We can all exhale now as she is officially off my skank list. Shoop. [source]

CARTOON AND AWESOME HUMOR... FUSED

MY WRIST IS KILLIN' ME BITCHES...

MY LINDSO RECENTLY HAD A MYSTERIOUS MISHAP AND INJURED HER WRIST, LEAVING HER WITH A CAST. WHILE I'M NOT CERTAIN AS TO HOW THE INJURY TOOK PLACE, I AM LEFT WITH AN OBSESSIVE OBLIGATION TO FANTASIZE THE POSSIBILITIES:

• WILL HILARY DUFF BE SPOTTED WITH A BLACK AND BLUE WACK TO THE EYE?
• WILL LINDSAY'S MOM BE SEEN WITH A LIBIDINOUS, PULSATING LIP?
• ARE LINDSAY'S BOYFRIEND'S SEXUAL DEMANDS A STRAIN TO HER WRIST?
• REPEATED TRIPS TO THE BATHROOM FOR INTENSE COKE SESSIONS CAN DAMAGE WRIST LIGAMENTS... I THINK.
• DON'T WORRY MY LINDSO, YOU CAN FLIP THE BIRD TO THE PAPARAZZI WITH YOUR OTHER HAND.
• LINDSAY'S USUAL SLAPS TO MY ASS MAY VERY WELL BE THE CULPRIT.

LINDSAY KNOWS VERY WELL THAT I ETERNALLY HAVE HER BACK AND WILL GLADLY POUNCE ANY PAPARAZZI WHO COME WITHIN HER CIRLCE OF COMFORT. YOU CAN COUNT ON ME SISTA. LICK IT. [source]

BLONDE BOY BEYONCE... WORK IT BISH!!

As my allegient readers may have noticed, this is the unofficial sequel to a previous performance from the internet Queen of all Queens. This fellow is capricious to watch and his flawless rendition of a hooker has left me honking out loud, completely scaring the neighbors in the process. This homo is enthralling, entrancing, gripping, magnetic, compelling and amusing... with a sprinkle of psychotic. Own that wig bitch.

OH NO... POPEYE HAS GOTTEN THE SHITS

Spinach. Popeye was a major enthusiast for the leafy green veggy. His name was synonymous with everything that was spinach. Unfortunately even he would be curled up into a fetus position if he masticates on the plant that's been recently laced with E. coli bacteria. The company whose fresh spinach was linked to an E. coli outbreak that's sickened at least 109 people said its organic products had been cleared of contamination, while health officials continued working to pinpoint the bacteria source. Maybe now Popeye can get back to porking his beloved Olive Oil in replace of hugging the toilet bowl. [source]

PARTING THE SEA TO GET TO THE GOODIES

My hag can tell you first hand that when I'm hungry, I have the capability of eating a small person. My ravenous appetite can eclipse that of a line-backer... and then some. My fervor for everything edible is containable though, as my haggy knows how to handle a crisis when it's in full-blown attack mode. Culinary delights seem to spring out of nowhere after a well-scheduled puff session. Betty fucking Crocker would be delighted. Taking care of me is part of the hag/fag package while my return back-rubs and stand-up comedy is considered full payment for services. Here's to my haggy for adding two more inches to my belt size, and completely being satisfied with the extra poundage. Love you slappa (that means WHORE in British slang).

GET YOUR LAUGH ON BITCHES...

It's no surprise that this woman obviously hails from the mid-west. No really. New York women can be a mess, but this gem has taken the cake. Being a guy and all, I actually hesitated with confusion trying to make out what was happening in the pic. Vomit-inducing gags kept me repulsed when I realized what it was. At least her crabs can bungee-jump!!
Simple and satisfying humor like this always keeps me slapping my knees in giggles. Thanks to Mark for his inspiration. Question: have you ever "showed up" early?
I'm too busy shitting unicorns and rainbows to be worried about ice cream poop. Frosty is one trifling mutha. I would've shat sprinkles. Poor unsuspecting snowpeople...

ANNA NICOLE LOSES THE LOVE OF HER LIFE

It's saddens me to report that Anna Nicole's son has passed away, incredibly just days after the birth of his new baby sister. Daniel Smith, son of the model and actress, reportedly suffered a "massive heart attack" at the maternity ward in Doctors Hospital. Daniel just collapsed, and despite Anna's repeated attempts to revive her son, she wasn't able to save his life. Tragic. My heart goes out to you Anna. Keep your head up. [source]

SEPTEMBER 11TH IN MY HEART FOREVER

How can one commemorate an event when it still feels raw and unhealed? How do you console people who's family has been ripped from their loving lives and homes? How do you begin to live your life without the person you've promised to live forever with? How do you kiss your loved one goodnight when there's nothing but a pillow and empty space beside you? How do you continue to go about your everyday lives when you feel a compounding sense of guilt for just living...

On this day, I give thanks for the family I'm blessed to have. A family who fortunately missed such a fate, as our time here in this world has yet to cease. My soul, my heart, and my teary eyes collectively sob as I look up to the heavens and mutter a quiet prayer. For the almost 3000 Fathers, Mothers, Aunts, Uncles, sisters, brothers and everyone in between who were taken so quickly... I'll live my life to it's fullest... for life is just too short. [source]

JUST AS SIGNIFICANT AS THE AMERICAN FLAG

This is a story that was printed among a bevy of other inspiring stories that I unfortunately don't have the room to print here, but this particular story caught my attention and so I hand it over to you. You the reader who return to my site frequently -- to see first hand through my everyday rants that everyone, regardless if they're gay or straight, all pretty much bitch about the SAME EVERYDAY BULLCRAP. This story is tragic and yet encouraging at the same time, all balled up into one touching life experience. Read on:

Rainbow flag creates controversy
Tucker Jankosky
KWCH 12 Eyewitness News
Thursday, July 20, 2006

For J.R. and Robin knight, owning a bed and breakfast is everything they've always wanted. "We came here in search of our dreams, my wife always wanted a bed and breakfast and I always wanted a restaurant," says California native J.R. Knight.
But recently their dream has turned into a nightmare, all because of a flag they're flying outside. “It's a rainbow flag - to some people it means friendship to some people it means gay pride," says Knight. But for knight, it was just a souvenir from his 12-year-old son. Knight says the local Meade newspaper is trying to put him out of business and was frustrated when it ran an article about the flag and did not even bother to contact him regarding why he put it up. In fact, most people we spoke to in Meade said they didn’t even know what the flag meant until the article ran. But once word got around, the reaction was harsh.
Knight says the radio station has called him threatening to remove the restaurant’s commercials if he does not remove the flag. A local pastor stopped by said it was equivalent to hanging women’s panties on a flag pole. When Knight jokingly said he might consider that – the preacher said he would have him arrested.
His business has suffered - down to only a few local customers. The folks in Meade who've boycotted say it's too offensive for them to eat there.
Local resident, Keith Klassen says the flag is a slap in the face to the conservative community of Meade. “To me it's just like running up a Nazi flag in a Jewish neighborhood. I can't walk into that establishment with that flag flying because to me that's saying that I support what the flag stands for and I don't," says Klassen.
Knight says it's not meant to be a gay pride symbol but he doesn't mind if that's how it's taken.“Any gay or lesbian people that do stop by will be treated with the best service I can give you," says Knight.
But despite the local ridicule and loss of business, Knight is determined to stand his ground. “When this rainbow flag shreds, I will buy another one, and another one, and another one - just like my American flag, I'll buy another one."
Knight says his son gave him the flag after a trip to Dorothy's house, a museum about the Wizard of Oz. The flag reminded the boy of "somewhere over the rainbow."

SEAN PAUL TOPS MY LIST...

Winning a Grammy couldn't be more special to someone who truly appreciates it, and Sean Paul is the perfect candidate as he remains humble and hot. I can't get enough of the guy. Rocking his music on the regular, there's always room for Dutty Rock. I'll grab his braids... bend him over and.... um.... next pic shall we? [source]

The boy can dress. Non-boring and never over-the-top, Sean Paul shows his chest covered with a large blinged-out crucifix. Grabbing what seems like his rasta pipi, I find it rather sacrilegious. Sean routinely looks tight in dress and demeanor. [source]

A born and bred Jamican, Mr. Paul is determined to rock American shores with his Dancehall rhymes and erotic Metrosexuality. Wearing black from head to toe never looked so hot as I'm inspired to whip out my shades and braid my hair whilst screaming "Dutty ehh..." [source]

Displaying the actual size of his poop-chute, Sean Paul figured out an anonymous way of revealing his gayness through his pink collar and matching cuffs. One question Sean... why are your braids looking type fuzzy? With all your loot you'd expect a tight hook-up. Love you regardless my brotha. [source]

ANGELINA AND BRAD NEVER TO WED??

It's no surprise that Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt have America waiting with bated breath as to when they'll finally tie the knot. Time after time again, when asked about said subject, Brangelina continue to evade the question or they simply suggest that it's none of our flippin' business. Recently though, in the new issue of Esquire, Brad Pitt was quoted as saying... "Angie and I will consider tying the knot when everyone else in the country who wants to be married is legally able." How's that for gay rights. I assume that was an indirect way of saying "NEVER." Jennifer Aniston will no doubt be chosen as the flower girl if they do decide to ball and chain. [source]

TO ALL MY LOVELY LATINAS...

This is for all the Latinas who rock their stance in front of me while they shake their rice and beans left and right on the street. This is for all the Latinas who go out and buy that slick pair of jeans, only to go home to "re-adjust" them for proper fitting. This is for all the Latinas who drink INCA COLA as their cleavage poors out like the soda they so fiercely gulp. This is for all the Latinas who wear tight white jeans until this day -- as their sole intention is to bring back the 80's. This is for all the Latinas with their open-toed shoes and hot red nail polish who continue to make me question how much I like pipi. This is for ALL LATINAS who stumble upon this blog as they sit in front of their computer in a wife beater and panties. Hot. [source]

DON'T CRY... DRY YOUR EYE

Lindsay Hohan's Hermes Birkin bag, which contained up to $1 million in merchandise and asthma medication, was swiped at Hethro Airport. When I first came upon this news, I immediately wanted to hop on a plane to London and yoke up this effing thief. Now I know most of you folks are probably thinking... "Why the flip would she even carry so much bling with her?" Well, I'll tell ya: BECAUSE SHE CAN AFFORD THE ICE AND SHE CAN DO WHATEVER THE CUNT SHE WANTS TO DO. Personally I think she was mostly balling about the 8 ball she had stashed in her bag. It was later reported that the bag was recovered (because I arrived just in time) but no word on whether any of the contents were missing. I love you Lindso!! [source]

HORROR MOVIES AND MY HAGGY...

My hag and I have this unusual relationship when it comes to movies that are of the horror or macabre type. When it's time to sit down and feast on forensic horror and scary cinema, I prefer to set the mood by turning off a light or two for shits and giggles. Denise on the other hand, enjoys giving Con Ed a power surge of magnanimous proportions as she turns on all the light switches in every room to ensure her safety from the spine-chilling dolls that are determined to attack her. Denise believes that if there IS in fact an uninvited spectral being or random demon doll -- like roaches they'll scatter and go away. I just pray that while we're engaged in full-on horror with our eyes glued to the tube, that some random noise or a slight brush on her leg from a couch full of pillows won't have her in full stampede mode towards her front door. This bish WILL clothes-line me, or better yet attempt a fierce hurdle over my ass as she attempts to run to safety. It's just not safe people. Here's to THE GRUDGE, SAW, ROSEMARY'S BABY, THE EXORCIST, AUDREY ROSE and the soon-to-be-seen SILENT HILL. Bruises to the neck, face, chest and back included... [source]

BASTARDS AND BITCHES IN A BOX...

Everyone has their own personal list of a-holes who've managed to creep into their lives like a poisonous spider in your favorite shoes. You try and try to eradicate them from your omnipotent life but they keep returning like a vicious boomerang. Well, do I have a solution for you. Chop their mutha effing heads off and keep your little ghoulish collection in a box to remind you of what personality traits you must steer clear of in the future. Bastards/Bitches in a box I call them. It's a simple solution to an on-going problem. To all the forthcoming enemies that will no doubt cross my path again, this will be you if you don't start kissing my ass beginning today.

ROSIE SHINES ON THE VIEW...

Rosie O'Donnell made her premiere today as an official "co-host" on TheView this morning and everything seemed to go swimmingly. After several years as host of her own daytime talk show a few years back, Rosie seemed to cohort and mingle with no qualms as she traded jokes with the View's original funny woman Joy Behar. Not one to search for drama and chaos, I'm extremely content with how smooth things seemed on the set. I must say though that Rosie did shine among the other ladies, cracking one joke after another as Joy seemed to take the back seat to her usual comments of comedy. I love you Rosie, even though you did have that awful bull-dyke haircut years ago. It traumatized many. Welcome back Rosie... I missed you dearly. [source]

STEVE IRWIN KILLED BY STINGRAY BARB

Australian naturalist and animal-lover Steve Irwin has died after being struck in the chest by a stingray's barb. Stingrays have been known to strike with their poisonous barbs when feeling threatened or even when they're accidentally stepped on. It truly saddens me to think that I won't be tuning in to his wacky shows and animal madness any longer. Steve lived his short life to it's fullest and I'm sure he's gazing down upon his family from the Animal Kingdom in the sky. You'll be missed Steve. [source]

THANKS TO YOU... I'M HAVING A BLAST

How do you begin to describe the love you have for a sister when it's beyond words? How do you explain the guidance of an older sister who part-timed as a parent when my Mom wasn't around? How do you describe a sister who had complete trust in my driving to actually take me out for practice runs when I was sporting my driving permit like it was an FBI badge? How do you describe the patience my older sis had when I poked and annoyed her just for giggles? My beautiful sister Natalie will continue to be my strength when I feel emotionally shattered. She'll continue to make me smile when I'm compelled to murder. She'll continue to be an amazing mother to her son (my nephew) and a wonderfully understanding wife to my brother-in-law. Her steadfast direction carved me into a person who possesses respect and kindness. Natalie, this is for you. You were my inspiration in getting this whole blogging thing started in the first place... and my never-ending inspiration in general. Love you more than Cheez-Whiz on Pita Bread.